Fun For the Directionally Challenged

Merry Day After Christmas Everyone!

I got many wonderful presents this year from many wonderful people (I could go on about my new flannel sheets at this point, but then you would just want to know where they are from and then I would just have to lie to you given the topic of my previous post....)-- However, what I am going to share with you today has to do with this little guy:




That's right, folks.....I am now the proud owner of a Garmin GPS thingy-bopper (that's the technical name, right?). I've only test driven it (literally) once-- on the drive home from KS yesterday. It didn't start out well because as I was pulling out of McPherson, it was giving me very clear, precise directions on how to get out of Kansas City. One phone call to my sister (who then asked Stephen) gave me the critical clue that I had not extended the flap on the back of it thus activating the actual GPS system. (details, details). Once we agreed on my actual location-- my Garmin and I hit it off quite nicely.

You might think that the promise of never being lost might have impressed me most....or the option of finding any kind food joint that fits my fancy at any given location.....or even the ability to play MP3s and audio books to my heart's content....but no. I'm much easier than that.

I am in love with my Garmin because I have the option of being given my directions by a cute Australian guy (ok, I don't know if he's cute or not...but he's Australian and he knows where he's going....so how bad can he be?) or by a bookish yet attractive British fellow (again-- I'm filling in the lines with the "bookish yet attractive" bit-- so sue me). But the bottom line is this-- I can pick what sexy accent I want to listen to! Daily!

I love technology.

An Open Letter to Land's End

Dear Land's End,

Over the years we've had some good times together. You've provided me with several nice jackets that were just as water-proof as you promised, shoes that carried me through Ireland, flannel sheets that made it very hard to get out of bed in the morning.....the list really does go on and on. You've been a good friend, but we need to talk. Our relationship has taken an ugly turn lately. I don't know how else to put this-- so I'll just tell it to you straight. The truth is, you've gotten needy......really REALLY needy.

It seems that not a day goes by that I don't get some sort of new catalog from you in the mail. Monday I got your bedding catalog. Tuesday came your Christmas wish list catalog. Wednesday was a blockbuster day that brought both your men's ware catalog AND your kid's catalog. Thursday things were looking up since I didn't hear from you, but then Friday came. Friday brought 3 catalogs, but honestly I can't even tell you what they were because in my anger I threw them all in the trash before even glancing at them.

Is it possible? Does ANYONE buy enough from you to justify THAT many catalogs? Is there that great a need for waterproof fabics and flannels in this world? Doesn't everyone probably just shop your online catalog anyway? I hate to call you a stalker-- but dude, the shoe is starting to fit. Maybe you're just feeling insecure because of that Eddie Bauer catalog that came last week....but you should take a cue from him. Eddie plays it much cooler than you-- he only sends me catalogs once every couple of weeks. He's luring me in by playing hard to get.

I would say that it's not you, it's me....but well, that's not true. It IS you, Land's End. You and your paper usage are out of control. It is time to do a little more soul searching and a little less tree chopping. Think it over and pull yourself together. Nobody likes desperation.

Maybe after some time apart, we can rediscover what brought us together in the first place.

Sincerely,

Sarah

I Don't Know If This Will Amuse Anyone Else

But here are the top Google searches that apparently lead people to my blog:

1. "How to be mysterious"

No real surprise here......but finally proof that I am not the only one who "secretly" WANTS to be mysterious! I just never thought to google it.

2. "Two Ways to Travel"

I don't even know what this means

3. "Dorky Men"

This one might be my favorite. I just can't decide WHO is googling dorky men. Is it the dorky men or is it the women who love them?

4. "English Majors are Weird"

Clearly, these people have an agenda. I guess I am proving them right?

5. "What car has manly horns"

See! See??? I am not the only person stuck with a girlie, no-good car horn! Sadly, there are no answers to be found here.

6. "Purple Rock Types"

I don't even remember that I've written anything about my purple rock on here, but I guess I have.

7. "10 Things Not To Get A Girl For Christmas"

It's a seasonal google search!

Question of the Day

Hypothetically speaking, just how concerned should you be if you are (gently) told by a 7 year old that you have too much makeup on?

Hypothetically.

Dream of the Future

So sometime in the next year I will most likely be buying a new (to me) car. I've started trying to think about what I want in that car, and here's what I've come up with so far:

1. An intimidating (dare I say "manly"?) car horn. I'm really tired of getting almost run off the road by someone and having my only recourse be to toot my little horn that pretty much sounds like a dwarf jumping on a goat.

2. An engine with some get up and go. Awhile back I was accelerating to get onto the interstate and my friend that was in the car with me asked if I was worried that the gerbils in the engine were going to drop dead from the exertion. It wasn't a very nice comment, but it was rather accurate.

3. A stereo system that allows me to listen to the Beatles. You wouldn't know it, but when you only have 2 working speakers-- you can't listen to the Fab 4 (as well as the occasional Metallica song). Well you can, but it will certainly be a version you've never heard before as half of the singing and instruments are just gooooone.

4. Tinted windows- I'm tired of getting sunburned while driving. There should be special window treatments for freckled albinos, you know.


Now-- I will confess that I feel a little disloyal posting this list since my little Rav 4 has been such a loyal and lasting car (155,000 miles and counting!). I feel as though I am tempting the car fates by critiquing my car and that next week you will be getting a post about how my car died on the way to visit my parents and grandparents this weekend. So let me just put this out there into car land: I love you Rav 4-- with your stupid horn, rodents running the engine, broken stereo, and high level of UV exposure......you've been a good car, and if you could continue being a good car for another year or so, I'd really appreciate it.

HA! Take THAT Skinny Girls!

Study: Curvy Women Live Longer, Give Birth to Smarter Children

Monday, November 12, 2007


Real women don't just have curves, they also are smarter, live longer and give birth to smarter children, according to a new study.

In the research, scientists at the University of Pittsburgh and University of California, Santa Barbara, used data from a study of 16,000 women and girls, which collected details of their body measurements and their scores in cognitive tests. The study was published in the journal of Evolution and Human Behavior.

Click here to see an abstract of the study (full study available for purchase)

They found that women with a greater difference between the waist and hips scored significantly higher on the tests, as did their children, according to a report in The Sunday Times Online.


For study purposes, curvy women were defined as those whose waists are smaller than their hips. The researchers suggest that the fat around fuller hips and thighs holds higher levels of omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for the growth of the brain during pregnancy. Fat around the waist, on the other hand, may have higher levels of omega-6 fatty acids, which are less suited to brain growth, the researchers said.

Waist fat can also be a contributory factor in diabetes and heart disease, which is why curvy women are also believed to live longer than their straighter counter parts, research shows.

Thinner or linear-shaped women lack both omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids around their waists and hips, which would be likely to boost longevity, but have little effect on intelligence.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,310636,00.html

One other thought about last weekend-- while in California, I went and saw a movie I'd never heard of called Bella. And you know, it's not often you see movies as original, moving, and authentic as this one. And above all-- it's a non-preachy movie about the value of every life-- even those who haven't been born yet. So, I'd just like to take a moment to encourage you all to go support this little independent movie to show that there is support for these types of films.

Go see it!

Me and The Waltons (or is it The Waltons and I?)

So I went to visit my friend Dara this weekend in L.A. and had an AMAZING time. Too many stories to go into on here, so I'm just sharing the picture of me at The Walton's house which is on the lot where Dara works. I did not, however, tell John-Boy good night, and I am still kicking myself.

I'm Reading Again

I've stumbled on (in a book recommended by a very cool chick) perhaps the best description I've ever found about why I feel the way I do about travelling.

I read it and I thought-- This is it. THIS is why I love to go places. He verbalized something I'd never even been able to fully work out in my own mind.

And now I'm sharing it with you.....



".....I open my journal and stare.....and do my best to fight off the atrophy that comes from seeing things too frequently. I try to shape a few sentences around this tiny corner of Rome; I try to force my eye to slow down. A good journal entry-- like a good song, or sketch, or photograph-- ought to break up the habitual and lift away the film that forms over the eye, the finger, the tongue, the heart. A good journal entry ought to be a love letter to the world.

Leave home, leave the country, leave the familiar. Only then can routine experience-- buying bread, eating vegetables, even saying hello-- become new all over again."


~Anthony Doerr, Four Seasons in Rome

Tunnel Vision

I started thinking on the drive home tonight about how we are completely surrounded most days by people's dreams. That car your driving? There is some car designer man out there that spent countless hours trying to make that car into something amazing.....that car is the manifestation of countless hours of work. And the roads you're driving on? Those are in the pattern that someone, somewhere started imagining one day. And that rotting old house you drive by every time you go to see your grandparents? Some farmer 100 years ago built that with his bare hands and couldn't wait to move his family in.

Every business you go to started off as someone's dream. Every movie you go to started off as a writer's dream. Every song you hear is someone's words pouring out of the radio. Your new dress started as a doodle on someone's notepad. Your old couch was once someone's baby for months and months while it was being designed and developed. This computer I'm on......this website YOU are on......the list is endless.

It is so easy to forget. EVERYTHING is someone's baby-- the product of their hard work. We are all connected....our dreams are all connected by everything we do every day. We are surrounded by the hard work and dreams of people who have a million different interests and most days we are blind to it all. We take it for granted and ignore each other.

Just take a second tomorrow and take a second look at all of the things you look at but don't see every day. It's kind of fun.

Jet Lagged Thoughts

It has not stopped raining in Hong Kong, for anyone who was wondering. It is a little bit harder than a Portland rain, but no nearly so hard as an Oklahoma rain. Apparently I'm quite lucky that it hasn't rained on me this much on previous trips....(yes Mom,I did remember my umbrella). In the reception area of all of the offices they have these handy-dandy little guys that you stick your umbrella in and they come our wrapped up in a plastic bag. They work great unless you havea little teensy travel umbrealla (like your's truly) and then the plastic bag is about 5 times longer than your umbrella.

And who would of thought that a whole paragraph about umbrella's could be so riviting?

Other thoughts:

Lesson learned about Customs line: pay attention to how many agents are working in each area. 4 agents= a faster line than 2 agents. Too bad it took us 45 minutes of standing in the wrong line to figure that out. Bad news? Wasted time. Good news? Once we moved lines a man from Austria got in line behind me who looked pretty cute and smelled even better! And trust me, nice-smelling men are harder to come by when travelling than you might think.

The bacon here still struggles, by the way.

Oh, and also? Watched the new Die Hard (don't think I've seen the other ones, actually) on the plane on the way from Dallas to Tokyo and it made me cry.....sorta. That was odd. Of course, Bruce Willis action movies have a history of that. The thing is, I don't think they were TRYING to make anyone cry. I guess it was just kind of scary/realistic with the KIND of terrorism that was in the movie. That's my excuse anyway.

Jini got moved up to first class (long story involving a lying mechanic, an footrest that wouldn't work, and a clever passenger who walked the fine line between making it clear she was rather put out but was never nasty about it)....so that meant I got two seats to sprawl my stuff over. You'd be surprised how handy that was.

And now I will bring the rambling missive to an end. I know you are all totally enthralled with my update, but I'm sorry people. The fascinating stories must come to an end for now.

So

I'm supposed to be packing.
I leave tomorrow....
And yet I am not packing.
I did start the washing machine....
That's something, right?

Home "Improvement" Question of the Day

Why do "they" use two different types of screws? Are philip's head screws supposed to be more secure? Are flat-head screws somehow more soothing?

WHY are there two different kinds of screws?

I Got Tagged

So, my cousin Emily tagged me for a blogging game-- I think the rules are that I have to post 8 random facts about myself (though I might point out that I am constantly posting random facts about myself....so apparently I tagged myself for this game a long time ago.....)

So here we go:

1. I really, really like the show My Boys on TBS.

2. I took the ACT for the first time in 7th grade. I filled the math portion in by creating a pattern out of the dots.

3. I don't like Guacamole (in fact, I'm not even sure that is how you spell it). I think it tastes like cold mush.

4. I believe in ghosts. At least I'm pretty sure I do.

5. I would sleep on flannel sheets all year round if it was at all feasible.

6. I am a terrible speller.

7. I haven't been able to drink Mountain Dew since my brother told me that it was made of a certain something when we were kids. I'm not telling you what he said it was made out of....and as an adult I know he was lying (sort of like the time he told me I was adopted, or the time he told me that Mom had flown on the space shuttle to the moon when in fact she was at the grocery store, or the time he was showing me how to get to my classes in high school and took me the long way to all of them)-- but I still can't drink the stuff.

8. I've never been to Canada.

A Salutation Like No Other

I like to share stories at times about the crazy and weird emails and calls we get at the office, but the start of an email that I received earlier this week takes the cake. It is officially my favorite "introduction" email ever from someone trying to get me to buy something from them. It's from a fellow named Gaurav, and it begins thus:

"Esteemed, Hope,your day starts with sweet smiles & tender touch of blowing wind. We added new range of........"



As it happens, my day had NOT started with "sweet smiles" OR the "tender touch of the blowing wind". That's never bothered me before, but now I feel I might be missing something.....

Granny T

Not many people can get to the age of 30 and still be able to say that they have 3 living grandparents...but up until last Saturday, I could.

One of my grandmother's passed away on Saturday night-- and thankfully it was a peaceful end to an extraordinary life.

Hopefully she knew what she meant to me, and that I cherish the memories of daisy chains and pick up sticks.....tea parties and the Andrews Sisters......card games and counting in German......purple martins and springer spaniels......christmas ornaments just for me......the list of random snapshots from my time with her could go on for some time.

The way she always put plastic sheets on the bed (under the cotton ones) well into our teens and the way they would crinkle crinkle crinkle when my sister or I would turn over in our sleep. The way she hid my grandfather's sweets in the oven (or at least that is my memory of it-- in retrospect that doesn't seem to make much sense). The time I couldn't wait to show her that I had finally learned to tie my own shoes. The way she had to correct my grammar at all times (an impulse my father seems to have inherited). The way she adored my grandfather even after he was gone.....and after he died, I never heard anyone else call her Dottie. The way she decided a few years ago that she was to be called Granny T after I'd spend 26 years calling her Grandma.

She was a beautiful, complex, intelligent, loving and independent woman. I was lucky to have had her for as many years as I did.



(and by the way-- she would NOT have approved of the punctuation in this post--that thought shouldn't make me smile, but it does)

Today

Today- I am not in a good mood

Today- I woke up thinking about cleaning supplies

Today- I thought a lot of mean thoughts about people I don't know (who may or may not have been driving near me on the road)

Today- I didn't like any songs I heard on the radio

Today- It took very little to annoy me

Today- I forgot several crucial steps while getting ready for work

Today- I didn't pack a single box

Today- I realized my hair dresser lied to me when he told me he trimmed my bangs (or maybe he was just distracted by his glorious plans that seem to involve me painting my fireplace hot pink)

Today- I lived another day of my very blessed life and was rather ungrateful about it. Hopefully when tomorrow becomes today I'll do a slightly better job.

I Could Watch This All Day

Thought of the Day

"Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it."

~Emily Dickinson

A Matter of Perspective

Today I read an article about a woman who made the controversial decision to get married "young". It was called something like "Crazy in love or just Crazy?" I say "young" because the woman that wrote the article was 24 when she got married. Apparently this wild and crazy behaviour scandalized her family and friends who could not believe someone would settle down at such an early point in life.

I supposed I should have been appreciating the wit and wisdom of the article (if there was any)-- but all I could do was laugh. I don't know anyone who would consider 24 "young" to be getting married. And it just reminded me of something I know-- but tend to forget-- and that is the fact that the Midwest Christian view of the appropriate age of marriage is NOT the general world view. I don't know who is right and who is wrong, but it amuses me that in many parts of our country you can be considered too young to get married when in other parts you are an old maid at the very same age.

It was a good reminder for me that you can't live your life based on other people's opinions and expectations since those two things are going to be so different everywhere you go.

Friends

I saw this article today and it struck me as kind of interesting. I've been categorizing my friends ever since...




By Michelle Burford

(OPRAH.com) -- "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said.

I consider the "family" I've gathered -- with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things -- among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

The Uplifter: This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

The Travel Buddy: When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

The Truth Teller: Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun: One Saturday a pal and I -- and yes, we're both over age 12 -- pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

The Unlikely Friend: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends -- some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian -- have added richness to my life that only variety can

An Open Letter

Dear Woman With Too Many Bumper Stickers,

While I may agree with your sentiment that "Well Behaved Women Don't Make History", I really must insist that you not try to make history by being the world's worst driver. Please-- take yourself and your little station wagon off of the interstate. You see, driving on a freeway when you clearly don't know the location of your gas pedal is demonstrably UNSAFE. Furthermore, to exacerbate this problem by talking on your cell phone while peddling your vehicle like Fred Flinstone down I-44 seems downright silly. So I would like to take this moment to ask that you take your own advice: "Think Globally and Act Locally" by STAYING OFF your local freeway at rush hour. I feel this would be the first significant step towards world peace-- starting with me (and my sanity)

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Sarah

P.S. You may feel that "There is a Village in Texas Missing it's Idiot", but I rather suspect that people who have clearly spent a large portion of their monthly income on little sticky slogans that they like to put all over their rat-trap cars shouldn't talk. Just a thought.

Random Thought of the Evening

I have had several people in my life (over the years) tell me to stop analyzing everything so much. I've always pretty much just dismissed that as an outright impossibility......analyzing people and situations is too much of part of who I am to flip a switch and turn it off.

But I suspect that sometimes it is just an excuse. Analyzing is definitely a part of my personality-- but I wonder how often I'm really just second guessing (and third guessing...and fourth guessing....) myself but rationalize it because I've labeled it as something that sounds more "adult".

Always Be Prepared For Never Being Able To Keep Up

I gave my 7 year old niece, Meredith, a ride home from church tonight. When we finished discussing the pizza we were going to eat for dinner, she was quiet for a minute or so and then the following conversation was had:

M: Aunt Sarah, I just don't get it.
S: Get what, sweetie?
M: How God could have always been here! He must have had a creator. If He's here now, someone had to make Him. How could He have always been here?
S: [silence]
M: Don't you think?


I eventually came up with a response about that being an excellent question that many people have asked before, and that we can never really comprehend it since we're stuck with a severely limited understanding, you know the drill.....all the while worrying that I was not going to satisfy her with this response and that I was going to somehow lead a 7 year old into a crises of the faith....but then I heard giggling. I turned around and she'd picked up a box from my car seat and stuck it on her head. That's when this conversation happened:

M: [in a deep robot voice] I'M A BOX HEAD!
S: [laughing] You are?
M: [deep robot voice] YES. AND I'M HERE TO ANNIHILATE YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


And what lesson can we take from this? Hm. Maybe-- never underestimate the distraction powers of cardboard? Or maybe it's just never overestimate the attention span of anyone under 10. But really-- I think the main point has to be: When the world starts to not make sense-- talking like a robot is bound to cheer you up.

Oh To Be Mysterious

So I realize that the entire premise of this blog is the fact that I realize just how mysterious I'm NOT.....but there's a little part of me that still likes to think that I am. I like to believe that people don't REALLY know what I'm thinking unless I let them.....that I have my own secret little world of ongoing thoughts in my head, and that I have complete control over how much of that world anyone gets to see.

Lately I've begun to suspect that I'm accidentally giving away far more information than I've realized. And it wasn't until I had THAT thought that I realized what a control freak I apparently am.

I don't know what the point of admitting any of this is, really, since you all probably know this about me anyway. The "self-aware" are always the last to know.

A Non-Update

I haven't posted since getting home from my vacation that turned into a hospital stay....but I've been rather unsure how to approach the whole topic (or whether to or not since it's been so exhaustively discussed in "real" life). I really don't feel like being all serious and deep about it-- but on the other hand, there are only so many "public forum" appropriate jokes you can make about having a 6lb ovarian cyst. (One that-- as my sister so lovingly pointed out-- weighed more than Meredith did when she was born).

So I'm turning to my go-to post for when all creativity fails. That's right! It is the return of the "random list of nonsensical observations"!!



1. I saw the new Harry Potter movie last night. It was quite excellent even with the teenage boys squeeing at Harry kissing Cho Chang. Yes, I said "squeeing"....of course they did the more manly "YEEAAHHHH!!!"-- but whatever. That's the boy equivalent of squeeing. Just because you do it in a lower tone of voice does not make it any less fan-girlish.

2. I've become hooked on the TV show Bones over the the last few weeks (thank you Netflix). It's strange that I got hooked on it because I don't usually like "solve the crime of the week" shows and I definitely don't like "look at these dead people while solving the crime of the week" shows. The only explanation I can give you is that it made me laugh.....and not in an accidental way.

3. This is the best movie that I've seen in a long time with a soundtrack I am already obsessed with.


















4. I read today that shoulder pads are coming back in style. I am horrifed. That is all.


5. Wait-- that isn't all. I also read that apparently "jumpsuits" are also big for the fall. I am aghast. THAT is all.



6. And just so that my family vacation is not completely neglected...I will leave you with a taste of my time in Arkansas:

The Clip That Made My Week

As many of you may remember, I have a slight issue with a certain local weatherman....and now, Jon Stewart is officially ON MY SIDE!!

Albino Smurfs Moved In Next Door

A Confession

There's something I've been keeping to myself for quite some time now---
A sneaking suspicion that I just didn't want to face.



I kept telling myself that it wasn't true....that it couldn't be true...that the thoughts that
started popping into my head didn't mean anything....that they were just random--
because to face otherwise meant realizing that I might have been wrong all this time....and who wants to admit that?



But this morning I was reading an article on MSNBC and I just could no longer live a lie. I had to face the fact that what I thought to be true wasn't. That I was wrong....that I owe someone an apology.




I'm sorry, Prince Harry. You really are way way hotter than your brother, Prince William.

Food For Thought

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
wisdom and power are his.

He changes times and seasons;
he sets up kings and deposes them.

He gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to the discerning.

He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness,
and light dwells in him.

~Daniel 2:20-22

Things That Did Not Happen To Me Today

1. I did not get married (I just thought I'd clarify that since it seems to be such a popular past time these days)

2. I did not get approached by a weird man at McDonalds

3. I did not give anyone on the road between here and work a sarcastic thumbs up

4. I did not forget to set my alarm (like yesterday)

5. I did not believe someone when they told me something even though I believed that THEY believed it

6. I did not figure out why people are mean

7. I did not see an elephant

8. I did not use all of my time effectively

9. I did not physically touch a single person all day long (I just realized that right this second while making this list....who says these blogs aren't thought provoking....?)

Things That Happened To Me Today

1. I accidentally listened to a Clay Aiken song.

2. I was thwarted in my attempts to find a professional and mature way to call someone an idiot via email

3. My favorite restaurant neglected to give me a fork for my "to go" salad causing me to contemplate the practicality of trying to eat a salad with my fingers.

4. I drove for nearly 20 minutes with my left arm unnaturally extended over the right side of my body just to prevent getting a sunburn through my window. I hate it when I forget my sunscreen.

5. I used baby powder in my hair so I could sleep another 20 minutes and not have to get up earlier to wash it.

6. I emailed approximately 5 people to tell them about someone I don't know and will never meet breaking their back and being in the hospital as if they were a close friend. (I'm sorry-- I happen to really like Jim and Pam on The Office! So sue me.)

7. I sent 3 emails to myself

Advice on Women:

To all of you single men out there looking for love-- let me offer you a tip. Hanging out the window of your car as you exit the drive-thru at McDonalds to tell a passing female (whose identity does not matter for this cautionary tale) that she's "looking pretty cute" and then asking her if she's single (since the nameless female is just going to lie to you anyway and tell you that she is not, in fact, single) is NOT the way to meet the love of your life.

I'm 99.9% sure.

Have you ever had someone tell you something so far out of the bounds of information you'd ever want to know that you have no idea how to respond and all you can do the whole time they are talking is try to think of ways to make yourself NOT laugh because even a smirk would not be appropriate in this situation? And then you wonder why you are worried about restraining yourself to an APPROPRIATE response to a completely INappropriate story that you never wanted to hear in the first place and yet there's no denying that you don't want to make the aforementioned "someone" feel bad for completely grossing you out.

A Defense of Mellow Music

It has happened of late that my musical taste has been challenged (by someone who shall remain nameless but lives in Nebraska) as being "too mellow" and my favorite songs are apparently too "slooowww". And while I freely acknowledge that my iPod on shuffle can sometimes take on the tempo of a Eastern European funeral, I feel this is an unfair criticism.

(Sidenote: you may at this point be saying to yourself "Eastern European funeral"? What in the name of failed communism is she talking about? I can only tell you I don't know...that's what came out when I was typing, so that is what I'm sticking with)

Anyhoo......I feel that mellow music often gets a bad rap. No, it isn't peppy and happy and the type of thing to make you bounce all over your car. And true, it can often be so moody and dramatic that it makes you feel way more "deep" and "introspective" than is probably wise while driving your morning commute...but the point remains that mellow music is important! Why? Well, it is my contention that more often than not-- it is the mellow music that is actually SAYING something interesting or thought provoking. We all know I like to analyze things, and this includes my music.

In case you still don't a)believe me or b)know what I am talking about....let's do a little exercise in comparing/contrasting the lyrics of mellow music vs the lyrics of peppy music....and you shall soon see what I am talking about! (bonus points for anyone who can ID the songs!!)


"Mellow" Example A
I was just guessing at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart,
Questions of science, science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart


"Peppy" Example A
All you people look at me like I'm a little girl
Well did you ever think it'd be ok for me to step into this world?




"Mellow" Example B
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was



"Peppy" Example B
Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through thier high school days
Both members of the 4H club
Both active in the FFA




Are you starting to see the difference? Did I make my point?


...........








(OK, here is where I make my confession that I only half mean what I said above. I love peppy songs as much as the next girl...and I honestly haven't been able to get "peppy" example B out of my head since I copied the lyrics.....but my point is really only this: DON'T DISS MELLOW MUSIC KATIE. I guess I could have started with that, huh?)

Making Myself Smile

Quite a few obnoxious things happened today, but instead of rehashing all of that (and really-- who wants to hear about the things that go WRONG?)....I am going to share the little things that made me happy today.

1. Discovering that The Frames are in a musical/movie that was shown at Sundance. And I will never get to see it in a theater since I live in OK, but that is what Netflix is for, I guess.

2. Looking at the team lineup for the Irish National Rugby team with Cheryl.

3. The clouds right before sunset.

4. The fact that my middle toenail isn't going to fall completely off like I thought it was, which would have made open toe shoes an impossibility for most of the summer (what? I know that's totally gross-- but I'm looking for the positive, people! It's not my fault I don't have much to work with right this second...besides, not wearing open toe shoes ALL SUMMER would have been highly annoying)

5. Finding an extra 50 cents in the bottom of my purse

6. Finishing a piece of jewelry that I actually get to keep



Annnd hm. Well, 6 is kind of pathetically small, but that is all I am coming up with right this second. But you know, it isn't about the quantity-- it is about the quality! And non-falling off toenails is quality positiveness....so there.

Brave New World

I've really got to stop taking my laptop with me when I travel to see various little people......they always become much more interested in it than in me.

I can't compete with an iBook! When will I learn??

Random Self-Focused Facts For The Day After May 1st (sometimes known as May 2nd)

*I don't understand how anyone can NOT like peanut butter

*It worries me that I'm wrong when certain people in my life agree with me

*I often wish that there was a mirror that made us see the things we refuse to see about ourselves.

*I cannot stand to listen to Bill Maher say one single word. The man could open his mouth to tell me about the weather and I'd STILL want to smack him.

*I don't know how to reconcile the warriors of the Old Testament with the message of Christ in the New Testament.

*My greatest pet peeve is being told to calm down.

*I only like birds in theory

*I don't sing along to the radio as much as I used to, and I don't know why that changed

*It annoys me when people are not satisfied with deluding themselves and must make others agree with their delusions as well. It annoys me even more when other people actually do it. I probably greatly annoy people when I don't.

*I eat far too many apples

*I don't think I wash my sheets as often as you are supposed to. I don't even know how often you are supposed to.

*I think Harry Reid is a disgrace.

*I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't obsess about a chosen television show

*I hate the ice cream truck that circles our neighborhood

*I'm not sure how morally correct certain fertility treatments are

*I think many churches are often country clubs with Bibles

*I don't know what I think of a world where we will tell a million strangers our every thought in the comfort of invisiblity but we can't find a way to know our neighbors names.

Things to Know When You Go to Ireland (Cause You Should All Go To Ireland) Part One

1. You need to get a Clark. (too bad I'm pretty sure there's only one.....)

This is Clark. (Well, technically, it's Clark along with Peter the Angry Irishman, who is also a very cool fellow and thankfully was not quite so bitter about Ireland's Rugby loss in this photo....)






Clark started out as a friend of a friend's brother who was going to let us crash at his place in Dublin-- but Clark wound up being far, far more than that. If any of you go to Ireland, you should be so lucky to stay somewhere as all inclusive in its services as Casa Clark. He's the best tour guide, rugby introducer, driver, explainer, stand in the snow and get ice-cycles on his head freezer, language explainer ("pants/trousers" "crisps/chips".....need I say more?) that any group of travelling girls ever had. It's not every man that will sleep on a deflated airmattress in his own apartment just to give the beds to one girl he knows and two girls he doesn't.


2. Everything is always Cheryl's fault. Everything

3. Watch your body language in pictures. I present Exhibit A:




When you are taking a picture meant to convey that you are dangerously near the edge of a dramatic cliff (which in all fairness-- we really were)...you should not pose knees bent with ankles jauntily crossed like you're out for a afternoon stroll in the park. Crossed ankles are never edgy.


4. Stay at Petra House in Galway. Not only is it a lovely place to stay with yummy breakfast, but you are also treated to the dulcet tones of Frank's voice. I feel confident in my assertion when I tell you that Frank is the most soothing man in Ireland. He could be telling you that your hair is on fire and you would just feel incredibly good about it.

A Break From Ireland Talk

I thought I would give you all (yes, all 5 of you) a breather from the Ireland talk (only momentarily, of course)....and give you my March Song Recommendations before the month of March ends.

But in a way, this isn't really much of a break from the Ireland talk because a lot of these were songs I was listening to on my iPod on the train! So HA!

Something Beautiful (The Newsboys)
--An incredibly catchy song about love how it was meant to be. You wouldn't think they could make a borderline deep dance song, but there you go.

Eyes (Rogue Wave)
--I'm obsessed with this very short song right now. I keep making other people listen to it. "Missed the last train home......birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone."

So Are You To Me (Eastmountainsouth)
--I hesitate to recommend Eastmountainsouth as they broke my heart. I found them a couple of years ago only to discover that this singing duo had already broken up! Boo. But their CD is beautiful....as this song will illustrate quite nicely.

Rum and Coca-Cola (The Andrews Sisters)
--I can hardly have a list and leave The Andrews Sisters off of it.

Street Map (Athlete)
--So soothing. "I would like to think our paths our straight, disconnected from choices we make. There is no reason why it can't be like you said. One day........it's going to happen. Don't know when....I'll be on your street. I know one day.....it's going to happen. You're gonna be swept off your feet."

Moonlight (Beethoven)
--Ok, this might seem a dramatic choice, but I've always loved this piece of music. And it makes for great "contemplation of the countryside as you whiz by on a train" music.

Steal My Kisses (Ben Harper)
--This song is irrationally catchy given the topic. "She said I love the way you think, but I hate the way you act."


Oh, and just so you don't think I've completely forgotten that I WAS LEAVING FOR IRELAND AT THIS TIME LAST WEEK....here's one of my favorite pictures from last week as a parting gift. It's called Peter the Angry Irishman Who Does Not Know How We Do Things In America

Two Ways to Approach Travel (Mom, You Might Want To Skip This One)

One of my favorite places we visited last week were the Cliffs of Mohair. For those unfamiliar with Ireland, here's one of my snapshots I took while we were there:





There are two basic ways to approach the cliffs (given a pretty, NON windy day like we had). The first consists of what could be called the "Recommended Route"-- or what we started calling it, THE SAFE WAY (meaning you were on the approved "tourist path" with a four foot tall wall between you and anything interesting....)




This was nice and all, but to be honest....seeing the Cliffs this way was kind of depressing and just kind of made me feel like a Treadmill Tourist. Much MUCH better was the second option---what I like to call FUN Tourism:











And sure, it may have involved scaling a small wall and going onto private property-- but some things were just not meant to be seen from behind a concrete barrier.


(Mom? Are you still breathing? I told you not to look!)

I Love Being 30

I never would have believed it, but turning 30 was a complete and utter blast. I have very few pictures of the actual "day" yet (most of them are on Erin's camera), but here's one that I do have:




This is lunchtime in Dublin and Erin and I are enjoying some of the yummiest food known to man. I'd tell you what it was called, but sadly I've forgotten. Erin (and her "sophisticated palatte") will have to post a comment reminding me!


Many more posts about the trip will be coming (I think), but for now I just wanted to share some proof that I did turn 30 quite successfully.

Being a grown up ROCKS!

Help

I'm thinking of making a list of places I want to see in my life. (Maybe I'll start with the old standby number of top 10....)

This is going to take research to figure out just the right places....but in the mean time, I am asking for help. Have any of you people (both the people who know me that read this and the people who don't know me who stumble on to this and happen to read this) read about places you think just sound amazing? Tell me about it!

Strange Is Good

It's 10pm in Hong Kong, and I really should be going to bed since I have another jam-packed day of looking at jewelry ahead of me tomorrow. (you know, it's amazing how much BLING can fit into one convention hall, it really is)....but I'm not going to bed at the moment.

What AM I doing you ask? Well, besides downloading the latest episode of Heroes to watch on the flight from Tokyo-- I'm looking at other people's blogs to see what other people have been doing and thinking while I've been gone. It's weird that I would think the world at home would just kind of stop when I'm not there......and I don't. Not really. (Ok, I do a little....sue me) But travelling really does feel like a weird sort of time warp to me most of the time. Things that happen here seem so seperate in a lot of ways from things that happen at home....from the people that are at home. I'm rambling....and I am aware that I sound like I've been up to all kinds of shennanigans or something-- which I haven't....(I'm saving the shennanigans for Ireland, it just sounds more appropriate, don't you think?).

I don't even really know what I'm trying to say. But I told people I would update and I haven't-- so now you are just getting a stream of consciousness (is that how you spell that? I'm too tired to check it) entry that makes little to no sense.

You're ever so welcome.

Let's try this:

10 Things About My Trip You Don't Yet Know

1. I had an amazingly cool plane ride from Prague to Paris featuring a fascinating conversation with my seat mate (who was not Jini)

2. I do not enjoy the bacon at the JW Marriott, Hong Kong

3. I got to shop at the H&M in Prague and had a good time doing it

4. The Mucha Museum in incredibly small

5. When people scan my passport, they sometimes get information about an Indian man. This can be problematic and confusing.

6. At the risk of sounding like a bitter old hag, I have developed a philosophy that includes this thought: Schmoopy couples that are in love should not be allowed to walk hand in hand along the street or the MTR tunnel or the hotel hallway if they are not able to walk at a normal pace while doing so. Your need for togetherness should not hinder my ability to get where I'm going faster than a snail.

7. I've now actually been to and used an airpot that only opens for a couple of hours in the morning and a couple of hours in the afternoon...and when you land, they just let you out on the tarmac and point you towards the building.

8. BMW 7-series vehicles have an absurd amount of leg room. I recommend them for all wealthy and tall people I know

9. I had my first McDonalds cheeseburger today in a year and a half.

10. I think there might be NBA players staying at my hotel. That, or I just have a need to stereotype freakishly tall men in their 20s who wear lots of Nike gear. It's a toss up.

Food For Thought

This was my gmail quote of the day, and it amused me. So now I am sharing:


"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid."
~Hedy Lamarr~

The Tipping Point

Something that has become increasingly apparent in my life lately is how much the process of tipping people stresses me out. I don't object to it on moral grounds. I'm not cheap. I don't mind tipping someone when I know it's built into the equation, they've offered good service, yada yada yada.

So what stresses me out about it, you ask? Two things:

1. I resent it when it's not my choice. If I go to a hotel and choose to let the little guy in the lobby take my bags up to my room, of course I owe him a tip. But if I choose to take my bags up on my own (because honestly that's my preference....I don't enjoy a parade of hotel workers leading me to my room when I'm tired and jet lagged)....I don't want to get a disapproving look as if I've robbed you of your nightly wage. Same thing with Sonic. I'd be happy to go in and get my food, but that's not an option. So why am I expected to tip the guy or girl that brings it out? I don't tip the drive through person at McDonald's, you know. What's the difference?

2. I don't know how much to tip people! Some of us can't do math quickly in our heads.....so I panic and either drastically under tip or completely overtip (depending on my mood). Sure 10% is easy enough to process......but that's too little. Is 15% OK? Or is that considered cheapo now too? And as if doing this in dollars wasn't enough to discombobulate me, now I have to do it in multiple currencies while travelling for work! Do you have any idea what it does to my brain to try and convert currency in my head while also trying to figure out the correct amount to tip the taxi driver vs the dude that was standing there and loaded your bag in the trunk? (Please see #1 in regards to this dude. I don't mind loading it myself, you didn't give me a choice, so I am annoyed that I must pay you for a service I didn't ask you to perform. It's like going into an Arby's only to have someone meet you at the front door and insist on ordering for you and then expecting to be paid for offering you the convenience you didn't want in the first place)

My question is: anyone have any advice to help me overcome this challenge?

Do I Get A Reward For Two In One Day?

So I spent most of my free time today working on jewelry designs, and as has become my habit of late, I was listening to my iPod on "shuffle". This is always entertaining when it goes on for hours due to several reasons:

1. There are no songs on my iPod that I didn't put there myself, and yet I always wind up with multiple songs that leave me wondering "Who is THAT?" I blame iTunes and their free weekly downloads.

2. There are no songs on my iPod that I didn't put there myself, and yet I always wind up with multiple songs that I HATE, have no idea why they are on my computer, swear I'm going to remove them immediately and then promptly forget about until the next time I'm making jewelry.

3. Musical whiplash is a frequent happening as going from the Andrew Sisters to The Offspring to the score of Schindler's List is not unlikely.

4. I rediscover songs that I've forgotten that I love (I know, I know....can you really forget something if you love it? That's a post for another day when I'm feeling a bit deeper....)

What brings us together today, however, is my desire to share with you some songs that I think you should give a listen to-- at least once. I know I can't make you love them as much as I do....afterall, songs are like books: one person's revelation is another person's annoyance. But you should at least give them a try.

So without further ado, I present February's List Of Songs I Love

(wait, I lied-- I do have one more ado: I don't think these songs have anything terribly objectionable...but I make no promises. It's music, people, No Getting Offended!) :-)

1. Shadow Boxer (Fiona Apple)
*I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now....but the woman's got some great beats and even better lyrics. Yes, she is odd in concert, this is true. But still. "Once my lover, now my friend. What a cunning way to condescend." I love that line. I really, really do.

2. Airport Song (Guster)
*I've had an irrational love of this song for nearly 3 years now. So sinister and so dang catchy! "You'll Be Selling Books At The Airport"!

3. Bei Mir Bist Du Schön (The Andrews Sisters)
*I grew up in the 80s, so it doesn't quite make sense that these ladies take me back to my childhood, but they do. And I defy you to listen to this song and not be singing along by the second verse.

4. On Your Porch (The Format)
*I will never, ever get sick of listening to this song. I love it. A great song about family. "And if you fail, well then you fail...but not to us"

5. Arms of a Woman (Amos Lee)
*Another one that is impossible not to sing with feeling, despite the fact that I'm not personaly looking to be at ease in the arms of a woman.....

6. I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You (Colin Hay)
*Erin loves this song. I'm just copying her.

7. Say Hello, Wave Goodbye (David Gray)
*"You and I had to be the standing joke of the year"

8. Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics)
*Until this afternoon, I forgot how much this song entertains me

9. Ada Plays (Gabriel Yared- Cold Mountain Score)
*Just a gorgeous piece of music...makes me wish I'd never quit piano because I was "so busy" as a 3rd grader.

10. Hide and Seek (Imogen Heap)
*Weird in a totally wonderful way.

It Seemed Fitting

This quote from Helen Keller was used in the lesson this morning, and it was so fitting given the last post, I had to add it:

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

Helen Keller, The Open Door (1957)


I don't know if I agree or not, but I thought it was interesting.

The Intoxication of Security

I've been thinking a lot this week about the comfort zones we create for ourselves and the lengths we go to to preserve them. We can go days, weeks, or even years without even being aware of the corners we back ourselves into....and then all it takes is one tiny thing that sits just out of reach of that zone....one tiny thing that catches your eye for inexplicable reasons (or perfectly logical ones) and suddenly all you can see are the walls that you built ever so carefully because they are what is keeping you from reaching that one tiny thing.

A safe life may be long, but it is rather dull.

Another Reason Apple Rocks

Somehow my iPod lives.

Apparently, he just needed a little time overnight to gather his wits about him. He has now been christened Amerigo because of his soggy journey.

Proof That TODAY Was Out To Get Me In Teeny Tiny Ways From The Start

1. Something told me this morning not to get out of bed TODAY. I had to argue with that something for quite some time before I DID get out bed. Something, I owe you an apology. You were right.

2. I had to go to the dentist

3. I had to wait an extra half hour at the dentist because the man in front of me was rear-ended on his way (I know what you are thinking. Surely THAT is the man who had a bad day, not you. My response to that is that I said "teeny tiny" ways....OK?!)

4. A thousand little and big things went wrong at work that I would gladly go into into great detail about, except that it's still TODAY for another few hours and with the way that TODAY is going, someone from work would see it and email it to everyone else I work with.

5. And last but certainly not least....I was leaving the house to go work out tonight (since I didn't go do it this morning as planned since I was arguing with "something"), and I was opening the door to the garage when I heard my load of laundry finish. I almost kept going, but I thought "No. I'll be productive and move them to the washer and get the next load started". (This may not seem important....but just be patient). So, I start the next load and go to the gym. Upon arriving at the gym, I realize that my new iPod Shuffle is not in my gym bag as usual. I had it the night before, but now it's gone. I look at lost and found with no luck.....do my workout (which I wind up cutting shorter than usual since I'm too annoyed about where my iPod could be to concentrate). I get home only to discover that yes.... I had just WASHED my new iPod. It's very clean now, and very dead. According to various websites I've read now, this isn't necessarily a fatal thing. But everyone agrees that the most important thing is to NOT PLUG IT IN RIGHT AWAY. I bet you can't guess what the first thing I did was, can you?


Looking over this list, you might conclude that I am being massively whiney about a day that wasn't all that bad in actuality. But you know what? Attitude is everything-- and I have a terrible one today. So there you go.

A Rambling Question With No Real Answers

I've been thinking lately about how different people are when it comes to letting others into their lives. How do we pick the people we let in? There's no automatic default when it comes to something like that-- even family is ultimately subject to whatever "test" we've come up with to determine whom we trust with our thoughts, time, words, worries..... the list goes on and on. And just because you love someone doesn't mean you let them in. I have some friends who view their parents as good friends...and others who view them as the people who happened to raise them but could never possibly understand them. Some people can't imagine life without their siblngs and others see them as a stranger they happen to share DNA with.

So why do we let certain people in while keeping others at bay? Is it an instinctual thing? Is it a checklist we go through without even realizing it? I've been trying to understand why I trust certain people immediately while others have to earn it....and why even after some people prove over and over that they DON'T deserve it, I still have the impulse to extend it anyway. Or maybe my real question is why do I WANT to trust some people even when they've proven I shouldn't? Part of me thinks that it is a refusal to accept what I don't want to be true. We rationalize behavior we can't understand to try and turn it into something relatable.....maybe so that we don't have to believe that we misplaced our trust in the first place. Mistakes are hard enough to accept, let alone if the mistake is a person.

A History of Intimidation

Laurie's comment on the last post made me laugh and then think "That's a post title if ever I heard one!".

So the question is- do I have a history of intimidating people? The short answer is, I don't know. But a short answer does not a good post make. So how about the long one?

For as long as I can remember, I've been told that I initimidate people, but I've never been quite clear why. I'm also not exactly sure if it's true. I think more often than not, the comment has come from the people who love me trying to explain away the people who don't--- so you see why the source of information might be problematic.

So what are some possible instances of intimidation?

*A girl at church camp who apparently hated me for years because she thought I hated her. She was assigned to be my cabin-mate secret sister for the day and decided to write me a note talking about how much she had hated me for years and talked about me behind my back. She went on to discuss how much she knew I hated her and obviously talked about her behind her back as well. She then declared that she was "willing to bury the hatchet, and not in your head". The best part? Before that day, I had no idea who that girl was that had apparently spent years thinking we were in the midst of a mega grudge.

*A girl in college who hadn't liked me for years who finally admitted that when she met me I seemed "popular and unapproachable". The sad part? I didn't tell her this, but I found it rather amusing and slightly flattering. I know. It was terribly, terribly wrong of me. But it was just such a novelty to be considered popular!

Ultimately, I don't know that intimidation was so much the problem in either of those instances as the girls just really didn't LIKE me. Is that the same thing? It seems like if I believe that these things happen because I'm "intimidating" it's just another way of saying that people have a problem with me because I'm just SO AWESOME. And that thought just makes me laugh....not to mention that it seems like a major cop-out.

As for the specific case in question......do I intimidate the eye-avoider? I don't think so. It's been suggested by a coworker that she might have a problem with my weight loss-- but again, that seems like a stupid reason to stop acknowledging the existence of someone.

The Eye Avoiders

There's a woman at work that I'm convinced doesn't like me. We'll call her "Tina". For the past two weeks, I've been trying everything I can (short of actually, you know, talking to her) to get "Tina" to look at me, to smile, to acknowledge my presense in some way as we pass each other in the hallway. This happens at least three times a day, if not more. Every time I come within a 4 foor radius, though, her head automatically ducks to the floor as if I'm Medusa and can turn her to stone if she looks too closely.

Now I know what your thinking: Maybe she's just shy. But you know what? That is NOT IT. I see her talking to other people all the time. I checked with my office mate today, and she said that "Tina" is always super nice and friendly. FRIENDLY! So what have I done? I can't figure it out.

The other strange factor is this: she's been at this job for at least as long as I have. And I don't know what made me all of a sudden notice her ability to ignore me. Has she been doing this for four years, and I just never noticed? And if so-- why did I suddenly notice now? And why do I care? I don't find this person particularly interesting. I don't know that I'm missing much from a lack of "hello" from her since I get it from 50 other people I don't know everyday. Plus, I'd much rather glide through the halls unnoticed than prance down the corridor holding court like some people do. So why her? I don't know.

It's just weird. There are a lot of people who would probably be justified in not liking me at work for some very good reasons. "Tina", however, is NOT one of them. We work at a friendly place, dang it, and she is NOT being friendly. She's being shifty and I want to know why.

And so I will continue my passive aggressive eye contact game in the hopes that one day I will make her LOOK AT ME. Of course, now I don't know if I want to smile once she does.

All Cooped Up

We're in the midst of the "great ice storm of 2007" here, and while it's not quite the armageddon situation the weather men seemed prepared for, I have been cooped up in the house for most of the last two days. I woke up this morning with the grand plan of cleaning out my room in a major way. However, this great "event" quickly digressed into me spending the afternoon doing two things:

1. Throwing away yarn I will never, ever get around to making into anything

and

2. Discovering yet more scraps of paper with scribbles on them. I know I've mentioned my strange need to cover random pieces of paper with random thoughts, half-told stories (oh, who am I kidding? I've never gotten half way through one of those stories), and mutterings that I can't bring myself to dignify with the word "poetry" (which sounds ever so grand). I suppose it speaks of a terrible self-absorption that I can spend an afternoon getting lost in reading my own scribbles, but it always fascinates and amuses me to read them. Half of the time, I don't remember what spurred the words in the first place. I say all of this as a warning because I have two "scribbles" I'm going to share....

My main reason for doing this is that I suspect Laurie might enjoy reading them (she likes to humor my pretentions at "writing"...and I owe her a thank you for the book she sent me.....I have begun reading by the way, and am once again swept away by envy at another person's ability with words).



********

I used to believe that there comes a point in every life when a decision gets made that forever changes who you are. But I've since realized that point comes every day. Like it or not, you expose yourself time after time with the people you ignore, the choices you refuse to make, and the words you don't say.

********




*******

If we're only ever around people that make us happy, then we can never know a big part of ourselves. If no one ever asked me a stupid question, would I have ever discovered the joys of sarcasm? If no one ever told me a lie, would I have learned to watch people's expressions? If no one ever tried to outsmart me, would I have ever learned to play the airhead?

Without dumb people with their dumb questions, without mean people with their mean words, without selfish people and their thoughtless lives, I would have fewer forehead wrinkles from raising my eyebrows, I would have a lot less to complain about, I would have fewer people to blame my own mistakes on, I would have no sense of humor, no sense of self, and no real worries. My work would take less time, I'd be a lot more bored, and I'd have crows feet from smiling all of the time in between my yawns. Life would be simple. Life would be dull. And I'd have no one to make me feel nice, smart, caring, and generally superior in comparison.

Most importantly, I never would have learned to roll my eyes, and I think we can all agree that would make me unrecognizable.

*********

As Seen On Laurie's Blog

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

An English Major's Confession

I alluded to this in an earlier post, but I haven't been reading much lately. It's a very strange thing to admit because reading has always been such a constant in my life. I've really begun to realize lately, though, that it's not just a matter of it being something I've always enjoyed doing. In a strange way, it really is a vital part of how I perceive myself and how the people who know me perceive me. Sarah loves to read. This is a fundamental in getting to know me.

But lately, I've started to wonder, how can someone who reads as little as I do these days count themselves as a book lover? Is reading the only thing that makes you one? I hope not, because that would mean that for the past year or so I've been a great big faker.

But you know, I don't just love books because of what they say. I love how they look-- be it old ones or new ones. I love how they smell (most of them, at any rate). I love the quiet atmosphere of book stores and all of the possibility of ideas that you know is just sitting there on the shelf. I love the weight of a leather bound book in my hand. I love the way you can guess things about people by the books on their coffee table or bookshelf (including whether or not the books were put out to "impress"). I love that a person's interest in books gives you an instant insight into their personality. I love what people accidentally reveal about themselves through the books they read at the airport. I love giving a book I really love to someone else and then getting nervous as if I've handed them my child until I know whether or not they will love it like I do. I love imagining where really old books used to live.

I love books. Now I just need to find one to read.

3 Decades

Last time I was at my parent's house, I grabbed all four of my high school yearbooks out of my closet and brought them home with me. Reading them (or the comments within them) was both hilarious and depressing. Hilarious because of the truly random and odd things I chose to stick in the yearbooks for safe keeping. Depressing because of how difficult it is to relate to the person that these books belonged to.

If you were to ask me, I would have told you that I feel like I know who I was when I was 16. My memories seem real and comfortable. But the problem with memories is that they age with you as you grow older and become no more reliable than......(Ok, I've literally been sitting here staring at my screen for 5 minutes now trying to think of something really unreliable to use there and nothing is coming to mind. I'm drawing a complete blank....) well, something no more reliable than something REALLY unreliable.

Anyhoo.

Looking at the yearbooks, I'm hit with fairly solid proof that people and things weren't exactly as I recall them now. The nuances that the years have stripped away return. Not completely, of course....too many years have gone by for that. But it's more about the shadow of them, I guess. Just enough to remind me that there was so much more there than I've remembered.

And it makes me wonder if 10 years from now I'll be a stranger to myself once again. If I'll look back on these scribbles and have to work to remember how that girl felt...how she dealt with the world......how she remembers the world.