Dear Land's End,
Over the years we've had some good times together. You've provided me with several nice jackets that were just as water-proof as you promised, shoes that carried me through Ireland, flannel sheets that made it very hard to get out of bed in the morning.....the list really does go on and on. You've been a good friend, but we need to talk. Our relationship has taken an ugly turn lately. I don't know how else to put this-- so I'll just tell it to you straight. The truth is, you've gotten needy......really REALLY needy.
It seems that not a day goes by that I don't get some sort of new catalog from you in the mail. Monday I got your bedding catalog. Tuesday came your Christmas wish list catalog. Wednesday was a blockbuster day that brought both your men's ware catalog AND your kid's catalog. Thursday things were looking up since I didn't hear from you, but then Friday came. Friday brought 3 catalogs, but honestly I can't even tell you what they were because in my anger I threw them all in the trash before even glancing at them.
Is it possible? Does ANYONE buy enough from you to justify THAT many catalogs? Is there that great a need for waterproof fabics and flannels in this world? Doesn't everyone probably just shop your online catalog anyway? I hate to call you a stalker-- but dude, the shoe is starting to fit. Maybe you're just feeling insecure because of that Eddie Bauer catalog that came last week....but you should take a cue from him. Eddie plays it much cooler than you-- he only sends me catalogs once every couple of weeks. He's luring me in by playing hard to get.
I would say that it's not you, it's me....but well, that's not true. It IS you, Land's End. You and your paper usage are out of control. It is time to do a little more soul searching and a little less tree chopping. Think it over and pull yourself together. Nobody likes desperation.
Maybe after some time apart, we can rediscover what brought us together in the first place.
Sincerely,
Sarah
December 8, 2007
An Open Letter to Land's End
Posted by Sarah at 1:25 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
That is ridiculous! That many catalogs?!
I am laughing so much right now. Love this! Love you!
What I want to know is if you sent a copy of this to Land's End. This is a great! Love you- KJT
PS- Is it still okay for me to order from Land's End?
Just because LE and I are not agreeing at the moment, it doesn't mean my friends can't still be his friends too, Mom. This is between LE and me.
That may true Sarah, and it is quite mature of you, but I can't help but appreciate a little loyalty. I mean, would you REALLY want me to go online and order some sheets when I could just as easily go to Eddie? I think it is more than appropriate to draw some lines at the moment, you know, given the circumstances :)
(I can only imagine that this comment is very telling) ;)
Funny funny post.
Love ya.
Some Nerve! No more business from me.
Aw. Thanks for the loyalty guys!! I think LE must have called down the winter wrath down on me....maybe trying to prove the need for water proof fabrics and flannel sheets since I haven't had electricity for 3 days.
Did I mentioned I've gotten three more catalogs since posting this?
Okay...you always crack me up! Were you this funny when we were kids? Actually I'm thinking yes since Reid always got us to do SNL skits! And I'm feeling rather guilty about buying my dad a xmas present there...shush...don't tell!
Ah-- Reid and the SNL skits. Those were some good times. You did an excellent Church Lady if I remember correctly. I should see if I can find those videos when I'm home next week.....
Post a Comment