Laurie's comment on the last post made me laugh and then think "That's a post title if ever I heard one!".
So the question is- do I have a history of intimidating people? The short answer is, I don't know. But a short answer does not a good post make. So how about the long one?
For as long as I can remember, I've been told that I initimidate people, but I've never been quite clear why. I'm also not exactly sure if it's true. I think more often than not, the comment has come from the people who love me trying to explain away the people who don't--- so you see why the source of information might be problematic.
So what are some possible instances of intimidation?
*A girl at church camp who apparently hated me for years because she thought I hated her. She was assigned to be my cabin-mate secret sister for the day and decided to write me a note talking about how much she had hated me for years and talked about me behind my back. She went on to discuss how much she knew I hated her and obviously talked about her behind her back as well. She then declared that she was "willing to bury the hatchet, and not in your head". The best part? Before that day, I had no idea who that girl was that had apparently spent years thinking we were in the midst of a mega grudge.
*A girl in college who hadn't liked me for years who finally admitted that when she met me I seemed "popular and unapproachable". The sad part? I didn't tell her this, but I found it rather amusing and slightly flattering. I know. It was terribly, terribly wrong of me. But it was just such a novelty to be considered popular!
Ultimately, I don't know that intimidation was so much the problem in either of those instances as the girls just really didn't LIKE me. Is that the same thing? It seems like if I believe that these things happen because I'm "intimidating" it's just another way of saying that people have a problem with me because I'm just SO AWESOME. And that thought just makes me laugh....not to mention that it seems like a major cop-out.
As for the specific case in question......do I intimidate the eye-avoider? I don't think so. It's been suggested by a coworker that she might have a problem with my weight loss-- but again, that seems like a stupid reason to stop acknowledging the existence of someone.
January 17, 2007
A History of Intimidation
Posted by Sarah at 8:11 PM
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4 comments:
You mention that her having a problem (if she does) with your weight loss is a stupid reason to stop acknowledging someone. Agreed, but her not being friendly to you is stupid in and of itself, so whatever reason she has for it is probably stupid.
I don't remember who the girls were in the 2 instances you mention. I'm curious.
Aw, this because your a nice person, Katie. You think anyone not being friendly is stupid. For some people it is just a way of life.
And you know, maybe I am being a big old hypocrite here. Objectively speaking, I'm not the most outgoing person on the planet. I do, however, smile at people when I walk past them. That's something....surely.
Why is drama an absolute given during summer camps for girls?
As with the camp girl, could it be that this girl thinks you don't like her? Not the you are not completely awesome because you absolutely are! :)
But, ultimately, I agree with you--people have issues; it is a way of life. And there is no way of knowing all the whys and whats of all of them (as you so wisely explained to me one day).
You could very well be right, Laurie. I've ticked off many a person without any intention of doing so over the years. I think we talked about this a long time ago-- but I've noticed that the more insecure people are, they more they interpret someone being quiet as being a snob. Or maybe I just want to believe that because people often seem to think I'm being pretentious when I'm really just standing there unsure of what to say.
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