Things I Learned At An NBA Game

*It is now my belief that everyone in the world can be classified into 2 camps: Those that are thrilled to find themselves on the Jumbotron and those that would rather crawl under their seat. (Guess which one I am?)


*The things that people will do just for the CHANCE at a free t-shirt truly, truly frightens me. Is your dignity really not worth the $15 it would take to buy that shirt online?


*I still think Nick Collison needs to give me a call. Think about it, Nick. (Cheryl tried to say that they took you out of the game because you weren't playing well, but just ignore her. She really has no idea what she is talking about!)


*Never get the chicken finger basket. You'll hate yourself about 5 minutes after you finish. And NOT in the "That was so good, I hate myself" kind of way....more in the "That was gross and I can't believe I payed $7 for that" kind of way.


*If you text your brother to ask him important questions about a member of the opposing team, chances are he will ignore your text and leave you wondering just WHY you recognize Stephen Curry. And you will never, ever get an answer.


*If the person you go to the game with is sitting in front of you instead of next to you, it is quite easy to convince everyone around you that you are a crazy person who talks to yourself the entire game (Instead of the truth-- which is that you are addressing the back of the head of your friend who may or may not hear about half of what you are saying, but you say it anyway).

Questions of the Day

1. Is it wrong to want to TAKE DOWN the 6 year old who keeps shooting you in Laser Tag?

2. Is it worse if the aforementioned brat is a small child you don't know?

3. Do loud people (that I may or may not work with) sound as loud in their own heads as they do to the rest of us?

4. Why do soft things (like bread) get hard when they get too old but hard things (like celery) get soft when they are too old?

5. Is it weirder that I currently have 6 jars of peanut butter in my cabinet or that I think the military should send soldiers in uniform out on missions to places like Chili's just to increase morale for the female population?

6. Should I be concerned that my 9 year old niece announced tonight that "Aunt Sarah is always a good judge of who is hot and who isn't?"

7. And do you think that made my sister wonder what I've been saying to her daughter?

8. I wonder how long I'm going to leave my blue towel taped over my fireplace?

9. Do ants ever make noise?

10. Do you think God told Adam how to milk a cow? If not, who was the first person to try it?

Rumors of My Blog's Death Are Highly Exaggerated

Yes, yes I know. I have been a terrible, terrible blog caretaker for quite awhile now. And I know all 5 of you have been very, very sad about it.

No stories about weirdos at Walmart...

No complaints about the bacon in Hong Kong...

No tales of pantless men on international flights...

No unnecessary comparisons of rotisserie chicken to unicorns.....


How have you all survived? Tis a mystery! But I am sure you will be SUPER relieved to hear that updating my blog on a regular basis is one of my New Years resolutions. (The other one is to make myself drink V8 until I like it)

Some of you might be tempted to point out that it is now January 20-- so I seem to be a little late in getting this resolution going. To that I say this: Uhm-- you people know me, right? Cause no one who knows me would be surprised that I am starting my New Years resolution nearly a month AFTER New Years.

Duh.