Scenes From An Airport: A Transcription

TSA Agent: "Please keep your boarding pass as you step through the metal detector"

Me: (looks at the TSA Agent) "Do you think my necklace is a problem? Should I take it off?"

TSA Agent: (shrugs) "I guess we'll find out"

Me: "Ooookay" (puts my baggie of liquids next to my shoes in the little cart and pushes my plastic tub o' belongings on the the X-Ray belt--- and then hold my breath as I walk through the metal detector..... as if that makes any difference in it going off or not)

Metal Detector: "......"

Me: (Breathes a sigh of relief and hands off my boarding pass to Mr TSA)

TSA Agent: "So, how is your day going today?"

Me: "Oh, not too bad" (my lack of enthusiasm may have had something to do with finding out shortly beforehand that our flight was delayed enough to make us miss our connection)

TSA Agent: (looks at my boarding pass, then looks up at me-- and finally sort of smiles) "Oh, your day has got to be good looking as FINE as that."

Me: "....." (did he really just say what I think he said? and if I glare at him, will he take away my boarding pass and insist that I get sent for extra screening?)

TSA Agent: (hands back my boarding pass still smirking expectantly)

Me: "Oh...uhm....heh.....yeah, well.....thanks" (there may have been some additional blushing)

TSA Agent: (winks)"You have a NICE day"

Me: "Thanks!" (goes to collect my belongings off of the X-Ray belt--- put my shoes on and walk at least 20 feet away from security to wait for Cheryl to come through.....in the meantime I look at my boarding pass to figure out what gate we are looking for)

TSA Agent: (comes from out of nowhere and grabs again for my boarding pass) "Let me see that-- let's figure out what gate you are at....where are you going today?"

Me: (slowly realizing that Mr TSA has decided to spend his break using the "treat a woman like a 5 year old child" method of hitting on her) "Oh, yeah-- I think we are flying out of gate 7.....I actually already know where that is"

Cheryl: (walks up smirking like she knows exactly what is going on)

Me: "I was just waiting for my friend"

TSA Agent: (frowns, hands back my boarding pass and walks off)

Cheryl: (smirking even more than Mr TSA) "I always scare them off, don't I?"

Me: "Shut up. Just SHUT UP. I don't want to hear it."