Surprise!

So color me surprised to find out the hotel has internet! We arrived safely yesterday-- and I even got to ride in first class from Houston to Tegucigalpa thanks to the generosity of my Dad's friend that met us for the flight. He'd been upgraded-- but gave his first class seat to me!

Yesterday was a loooong day but a good one. I think the rest of the "week" here is going to be very interesting. Here's to hoping that Gustav doesn't make it a little difficult to come home!!

I don't have anything terribly interesting to report or the time to time it anyway right now, but I did work on a blog post last night during the Spanish meeting I couldn't understand a word of. (That's not rude, right? I just looked like I was taking notes)

The End is Here

So when I promised to post every day this month, I neglected to factor in the small matter of me leaving the country. I'm headed to Honduras tomorrow-- and so for quite obvious reasons, this will be the last post for August. Unfortunately it isn't going to be an interesting one because (not surprisingly) I have not yet begun to pack.....and seeing as it is after 9 and my parents are picking me up tomorrow morning at 4:45....I'm thinking I better get on it.

....right after I eat a fudgecicle that is....

I Can't Believe This Was 3 Years Ago

Is November Here Yet?

I've been wondering lately if anyone actually watches the U.S. Presidential conventions as a method of deciding who they are going to vote for. Both parties basically put on a week long propaganda show as far as I can tell...and nothing really gets decided. It seems to me to be a little symptomatic of our culture in that all of the spontaneity has been sucked right out of it. It is the same reason that the "debates" aren't really debates at all-- they are just people pretending to ask questions and other people pretending to give spontaneous yet remarkable sound-bite ready responses.

Do I sound cynical yet?

"Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?"

~Jane Austen

That Time Again

I've been going through old files on my computer tonight-- reading things I'd completely forgotten I'd written (which, let's face it, is a weird way to entertain yourself). I found a little something that I wrote right around the time of my 26th birthday. It's kind of personal, and if at the time you'd told me I would EVER post it on the internet for others to read, I would have given you one of my patented eye rolls/dirty looks. But reading it tonight made me laugh (in a good way) and remember a fairly major paradigm shift that I went through in my mid 20s.

I think this will make sense to some of you.....and those are the people I'm posting it for. So, to anyone to whom the below words mean ANYTHING....this is for you!





I think some people spend their whole lives waiting for their life to begin.

I know this because I have spent 26 years feeling like I am standing in line waiting for my turn on the ride---only my turn never comes. Sure, I get to watch other people take the ride, and I can even talk to the people in line around me about the best places to sit and the most dangerous curves-but I've never been able to experience them for myself because I can't seem to get to the front of the line.

It's life through a view-finder and I'm sick of it. So you know what I'm saying? Screw this ride. I'm gonna go build my one of my own.

Just My Humble Opinion Regarding the Election....

I would rather someone not know how many houses they have than not know when they believe life begins.

A Sad (But True) Admission

This may be news to no one but ME, but I have recently realized that I am a girl who likes boundaries. I feel better when I know what the expectations of me are and what the plan is to get there. I deal best when I have deadlines I have to work towards. (Exhibit A-- the whole "post once a day rule" that I have to impose on myself in order to actually post on here halfway regularly).

And you know what? I hate it. It is SO not interesting. Who (besides a Marine) likes a a rules and regulations girl? It would be much more mysterious if I flouted rules and convention and just did whatever fit my fancy.

But I can't. I always call before I come over. I always knock before I come in. I always sit in my assigned seat.

This is me. I'm just going to have to learn to accept it.

Some of My Favorite Vacation Pictures

We interrupt this monthly posting schedule because our friend Clark is in town! We will resume normal programming tomorrow.

(If you don't remember or know who Clark is, please click his name for a very necessary introduction!)

My Favorite Article of the Day

Outback mayor seeks ‘ugly duckling’ women
‘Beauty-disadvantaged’ urged to move to woman-deprived Mount Isa

Read All About It



Cheryl forwarded me this article this morning at work. I'm not sure how insulted I am. This may be the second time she's "accidentally" called me ugly this month! It is for that reason I feel free to make fun of her on here and tell you all that she was quick to point out that all of the available men in the above AUSTRALIAN town would "at least have British accents". Sure they would. If they had just moved from a DIFFERENT COUNTRY.

Oprah & Her Friends Have Lost Their Ever Loving Minds

Today while driving home I was playing with the satellite radio on my new car. I landed on the "Oprah and Friend" channel-- and even though I have a long standing policy of taking Oprah (and her ego) with a HUGE grain of salt......I was curious what Oprah's "Friends" had to talk about for 24 hours a day on the radio. Would we get some Dr. Phil? Would we get some decorating tips? Well-- my limited exposure to it has convinced me that Oprah and Friends radio basically consists of the biggest pile of New Age mumbo jumbo you have ever heard.

First up was Nate Berkus (and correct me if I'm wrong here-- but isn't he some sort of interior designer??) talking with some spirit medium dude about the "levels" that spirits work their way through after death-- and how the biggest motivator for them to move to the higher realms of the afterworld is LOVE! (I had to put LOVE in all caps because of the way they were stressing it.....I felt they were using verbal caps). Also? Apparently spirits have physical needs as well-- and all they have to do is envision something to have it. For instance, if they want a turkey sandwich all they have to do is picture it and it shows up. Seriously. That was their example, not mine. What on earth any of this has to do with picking the right cushions for my living room, I just don't know.

Next up was some looney bin escapee whose name I don't know-- but whose profession is apparently the "teaching of the laws of attraction". His schpeel was all about putting out the vibes that bring positive or negative things into your life-- and how everything that happens to you is because of your vibrations. He also added that for those who might feel that they didn't put anything negative out there-- and yet were still struck with "bad boyfriends" or "job difficulties" or "money troubles"-- well, they just needed to understand that his job was not to convince them of the truth of the laws of attraction (because, you see, they are there whether you choose to believe in them or not)-- his job was just to instruct all of us little people in the WAYS of these laws. (And, presumably, to make 6 figures a year doing it). I think my favorite piece of wisdom he shared was that we all have built in vibration-ometers in us....and that they are called EMOTIONS. (To that I say-- Thank you, Einstein. I never would have guessed that my EMOTIONS were telling me how I felt. That is truly an amazing piece of insight). I turned the channel before we got to just what it was, exactly, that 4 year olds with cancer "put out there" in order to bring it on themselves.

After that I was done....but it left me feeling slightly horrified. I mean, it isn't as if I hadn't ever heard of any of this before. Spiritual mediums and philosophies like"the Secret" aren't exactly new to the world, but still. I mean-- I haven't really watched Oprah in years-- but are the millions of women who watch her show really buying into this? I'm genuinely curious now.

A Close Call

We had a near blog tragedy tonight-- and you have my mother to thank for averting it. I very nearly forgot to post ANYTHING tonight. I know-- devastating, right? I was so busy watching Michael Phelps win his 8th gold medal (It isn't often I feel slightly hostile towards Australians...but tonight was the exception)-- that it completely slipped my mind that I hadn't posted anything today. (The topic of my unexpected addiction to Olympics coverage is a topic for another day)

Now it is late, and I'm tired-- and to be perfectly honest, I'm drawing a blank on anything remotely interesting to say. (I know, I know-- hasn't exactly stopped the rambling before....)

And so I will merely wish you a happy August 16th and call it good.

Happy Birthday Grandma!!

Today is my Grandmother's birthday-- and I really feel that I am sadly overdue in telling her (and all of you) why she is such an amazing, wonderful, fun, all around fabulous person to have as a Grandmother!

First, let me start with one of my favorite pictures of her and my grandfather:



I enjoy this picture for several reasons but the primary one is the expression on her face-- doesn't she just look like she's up to something? THIS is the girl you wanna hang out with. I'm dying to know what she was thinking in this picture! (Also? I am jealous of her cute outfit--particularly the shoes!) And you know what? My grandma is STILL someone you wanna hang out with. She's hilarious, remembers a zillion stories, and knows a little (and A LOT) about just about everything. (She's probably protesting this point as she reads this-- but Grandma....face it. You ARE a knitting expert. Your cinnamon rolls ARE the best ever. You know more about college and NBA basketball than most guys I know, and I will always insist on having you on my Trivial Pursuit team!)

But more than any of that-- my grandmother is the most loyal and loving person you could ask for. She has been a blessing in my life since the day I was born (and not just because she introduced me to Hershey's syrup as a child). She is a patient, loving Christian example that makes those of us lucky enough to be in her family proud just to be one of Laverne's grandkids (or kids, or great grandkids....). She has an amazing ability to make me feel like the most interesting person on the planet even when I really have nothing better to talk about than the latest customer complaints at work.

You are an awesome woman, grandma-- and if I only manage to have half of the positive influence on those in my life that you have given to those around you-- I will consider myself quite a success.

Happy Birthday! I love you!

(And I would like to point out that while you might have lots of grandkids and great grandkids that love you dearly-- I am still the only "littlest angel". I'm just saying.....)

Puzzling Male Fashion Trends

Dear American Apparel,

WHY are you encouraging men to dress this way? You have THIS available in "over 20 colors"! Really? Is that supposed to be exciting? Is hairy male cleavage the new hip trend? I don't understand. It is bad enough that it is almost impossible for women to find tops these days that aren't cut to our belly buttons....but now you are dragging the men down with us? I really think you need to reconsider. I mean, it isn't like the guys can do what we do and just put a tank top underneath. THAT would (believe it or not) look even more amazingly stupid.

Think about it.

Best regards (but with a high level of concern),

Sarah

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

Oscar Wilde

Friends That Don't Answer Messages

I once left a message for a friend of mine because I had a crucial question that needed answering. Sometimes you don't have the answers for the big questions that strike you in your life-- and in those times it is important to be able to turn to your friends that are experts in their fields and trust that they will walk you through your questions and help you to see the answers that you just couldn't find on your own.

Unfortunately, in my time of need-- my friend did not come through for me. And so I am left to wonder with no answers to be found. And so now, I turn to you my blog world friends to see if you can help me with this very important question:


In the comics, does Batman have a girlfriend? And if not, why not?

Warning: This Post is For Women Only

Alright ladies-- need a reason to watch the Olympics? This one is good enough for me.






Now I know what you might be thinking-- surely this post is beneath me. To that charge I answer-- no, it really isn't. I'm just encouraging you all to show your American spirit and admire their athleticism.

I love the U.S.A. So shoot me.

Questions for Walmart

1. Does anyone really buy the Lemon Pepper rotisserie chickens or are they just space savers until you finish cooking more of the "Traditional" flavor?

2. When you were designing the new motion-sensitive lights in the frozen food sections, did you realize you would make your shoppers feel like they are walking some sort of weird red-carpet that lights up as they go every time they want to buy a South Beach frozen pizza?

3. Have you considered telling your greeters that rushing at a customer who just walked in and then grabbing her purse to strap it in with the seat belt in her cart might be a little disconcerting? Especially with no explanation?

4. What happened, exactly, to make you establish the "one person and one person only per dressing room rule" that is now apparently corporate policy?

5. Do you know that the giant, middle of the aisle "islands" of that one weight loss drug that causes all those gross side effects is really kind of unappetizing-- especially since your big signs list them all?

6. And do you see that putting the weight loss section across from the candy section might not be the kindest move?

7. Has Cover Girl convinced you yet that Queen Latifah actually makes anyone want to buy Cover Girl?

8. Why is the dog food section always next to the garden section? Are you trying to segregate "smelly" aisles?

9. Why do your cashiers refuse to greet me 80% of the time when they know perfectly well that the little credit card screen is going to ask me if I was greeted?

10. Why does your nightgown section remind me of nursing homes?

11. Who buys those weird DVDs you have on sale for $2?

12. Are you planning on starting to carve Miley Cyrus' face onto the potatoes to try and get those to pick up on sales?

13. Do you really think I care that the new movie with the comedienne whose name I don't remember (because his last 4 movies went straight to DVD) will be releasing his new DVD exclusively at Walmart starting next Tuesday? And do you really think it justifies a 10 food sign at the front of the door?

14. Have you ever considered taking some of your carts out to pasture and putting them out of their misery since many of them seem to have half wheels that THUMP, THUMP, THUMP as you go down the aisle and/or pull to one side so much that you very nearly take out the mustard row on aisle 7?

My Friend Laurie

I've realized of late that every time I'm talking about my friend Laurie, I preface it with "my friend". I never just say "Laurie"-- I guess this is because she is one of my very few close friends that is NOT from college. Almost all of my friends are friends with each other-- and she is one of the few that (for now anyway) is mostly just MY friend. And so I guess that is why to everyone else in my world, she is known as "my friend Laurie".

Anyhoo-- believe it or not, this post is not just to explain the foibles of my speech patterns....... this post is really more to explain the total uniqueness that is my friend Laurie and to tell you all how generally awesome she is. And so, to celebrate her birthday, I present to you a list of some of the reasons that I love Laurie. (At least I'm pretty sure it is her birthday-- if not, she will enjoy the list anyway and generally just think I'm being eccentric)

1. I've never met anyone who puts more thought into her friendships.

2. She remembers everything I've ever told her....even things I don't remember saying. She can tell you the first and middle names of all my nieces and nephews-- and I wouldn't doubt she might know their birthday months too.

3. She is one of the most empowering friends I've ever had (and incidentally, the only one to talk me into buying a backless shirt!)

4. She analyzes things even more than I do. When we get together and analyze a situation I think we could even give Freud a headache.

5. She cherishes and protects the uniqueness of her daughters.

6. She sees eccentricity as a gift.

7. She has no idea how smart she really is. (Ok, I don't really love her for this one-- I wish she DID know how smart she is-- but I had to put it on the list because I like to give her a hard time about it)

8. I can go without talking to her for 6 months (not that I try to do that) and we can still pick right back up where we left off.

9. She is one of the most open-hearted and generous people I know.

10. She talked me into trying laser-hair removal.

11. She let me live with her and finish my thesis and she even bought me Cocoa Puffs.

12. She didn't bat an eye when I told her that her husband should walk around in his flight suit more often.

13. She respects honesty

14. She loves products even more than me.

15. She loves to preface things with "GIRL"-- and I catch myself doing it when I'm talking to her. No one else could make me do that. (not that she tries)

16. She is a wonderful writer.

17. She is incredibly loyal.

18. She threw me a surprise party and really, totally surprised me.

19. She still dances. (And I mean that literally, not metaphorically)

All Out Of Time With Nothing To Say

I just realized that there is only an hour left of 8-8-08 and I still haven't posted anything on here. Mostly that would because I can't think of anything profound to say (well, that and I've been watching old episodes of Prison Break-- never let it be said that I don't have exciting Friday nights!)

This is about the time that I usually do a top 10 list....my old standby...but for some reason I don't feel like doing one just now. It has been a long, hot, weird week and I'm just glad it is Friday.

Happy Weekend everyone!

This Never Fails to Make Me Laugh

(Megan, you've really got to find a way to watch these)


General warning: there is one slightly unfortunate word at the beginning, but that's it. I promise. (blink and you'll miss it)

Me: The Early Years

So this post is to reassure my mother that I didn't automatically just throw out the large packet of old school papers she sent me in the mail this week. We're talking grade school, middle school, and high school report cards.... we're talking school commendations, pity-ribbons from track and field day, and ACT results. It is one great big pile of information about ME!

Reading through the old papers, some of the teacher notes started cracking me up. Apparently some of my "issues" are long-standing. Here's a sampling to show you what I mean:



Kindergarten: Mrs. Crowder
"Holding Pencil: Keep watching middle finger position"

I'm sad to report that 25 years later-- I am STILL holding my pencil wrong. Sorry Mrs. Crowder



First Grade: Mrs. Frederick
"I've enjoyed having Sarah this year. She's a sweet child and a good student"

Good comment, right? You'd never guess that this is the same teacher that once taped my mouth shut. Seriously.



Second Grade: Mrs. Ketcherside
"Distracted by other small groups"

This should surprise no one.


"Whispering and checking the process of others uses valuable time"

I think this is nice teacher code for "she's nosey and wastes time"


"Enjoys all kinds of conversation"

Again-- is this teacher code for "she never stops talking"?


"her imagination is endless....Sarah should never be bored!"

Finally-- someone acknowledges that the ability to entertain yourself is a good thing!


3rd Grade: Mrs. Nuss
"Sarah rushes through work which causes it to be messy."


I think my college roommates could have written that comment.


4th Grade: Mrs. Heitschmidt
"Sarah is a creative and sensitive person who is nice to everyone."

This is a very nice comment-- it just makes me wish I could remember something about the teacher who made it. I have realized that I am drawing one big blank about my 4th grade year. I can remember 3rd grade, I can remember 5th grade-- but for the life of me I cannot remember anything about Mrs. Heitschmidt! I hope this doesn't mean I'm not nice anymore.

No, No, and did I mention NO?

Dear Ms Holmes/Cruise:

No. You are not bringing back tight-rolled jeans. You aren't, so just STOP IT.

Sincerely,

The American Public

P.S. Also? What is with the hair? You are making us rethink our Dawson's Creek days......

Sunday School Lessons

(I'm feeling unoriginal tonight so you are getting a bit of something I wrote when I lived in Portland 5 or 6 years ago.....)


There may be some of you lucky, lucky souls who have never had to go to visit a new church. I don't know what planet you're living on, but so be it. (Actually now that I'm thinking about it, that's ridiculous. What have you been doing with yourself that you've never left your home church? Get out of the house for goodness sakes!)

But the rest of us have at some point, or will assuredly at some point in the future, visit a congregation we have never been to before. And if you are (to quote Bridget Jones) a singleton, then chances are you are going to have to do it alone. I have spent many many miserable Sundays doing what is charitably called “church shopping” and picked up something of an education while doing it.

So listen up, because these were literally born out of sweat and tears (emphasis on the tears, and we'll get to that later).

So without further ado, we have Observation One:

Most churches don't have a Singles Class.

This is the most fundamental rule you will have to learn because it almost never fails.

Let me give you a very real scenario:

You walk into a church you've never been to before. You're lucky enough to find the visitor's table-- which may or may not have an up-to-date class list (that's not likely, but go ahead and dream the dream. I won't try to stop you).

Since you aren't a First Grader or a Golden Oldie, you aren't able to immediately spot a class for which you fit the description. But no problem, right? You're a self sufficient college graduate! You know how to ask questions, right?

So you find someone standing near the door with a name tag on and assume that they must have some kind of helpful knowledge because really-- who would bother to put on a name tag if they didn't have some kind of information to offer?

And there you've done it. You've made your first classic mistake.

You've assumed that name tags indicate someone who is ready to answer questions. This is not the case. 90% of the time, members aren't wearing name tags because they actually expect anyone to ask them anything. (And it's not that they don't want to help you, but most of the time, they are very nearly as clueless as you are.) The fact is, people rarely know what classes are offered outside of their own or their kids (which explains the fact that so many of these brothers and sisters in Christ will attempt to send you to the college class-they, like our parents, often seem to have a complete unawareness that for many people a stage of life exists between college and marriage.)

Now, you might be thinking that there is an easy way to avoid all of the awkwardness. Why go through all of this unknown when a little research could have saved you the trouble, right?

Well…..sorta.

The fact is, I am a strong believer in researching congregations before visiting them, and with so many congregations finding their way online, it is getting easier and easier to find valuable information from the safe haven of your couch.

But here's the thing: I learned the hard way that this can give you a false sense of security because ministers are human too, and quite often can be guilty of telling you what they wish to be true.

Remember those tears I mentioned earlier? What I'm about to tell you is a very true story.

I had just moved to a new area where I basically knew no one and was rapidly growing tired of visiting area congregations with no more information that what time services started. I realized that I should heartily be ashamed of myself because I had been approaching this all wrong. I had just finished my Masters Thesis, for goodness sakes! The one and only thing I was actually qualified to do was research. So I embarked on a little investigation of the next area church I planned to visit. I found the website, and quickly found the email address of the “Singles Minister”. Sounds promising, right? Yes, I was naive once too.

Thus began an exchange of emails where I laid it all out on the line-my age, my background, and just what it was I was looking for-ideally fellow Christians my own age. His reply was enthusiastic though slightly cryptic. He responded that they had a small, but growing class of people “pretty much” my age. I wasn't sure what the “pretty much” meant, but the rest sounded worth checking in to. Plus I figured, I had a good 10-15 year age range that I would feel OK with, so it couldn't be too bad. I'd had older friends before. He even gave my precise directions to their classroom in the building. I was set. What could go wrong?

Since you already know I ended up in tears, we'll keep this short and sweet. I got to the building where the church met a little early and headed to where my class was to meet. They were having what appeared to be an elders meeting in it, so I used what had become my classic stalling technique-I went and hung out in the bathroom for awhile. I came out a few minutes later, when it was getting closer to time for class to start, but the meeting had not yet rapped up. I began to grow concerned that I was looking in the wrong place (directions having never been my strong suit) and decided to grab the first woman I could find and ask her. I found a very nice woman who looked to be about my mother's age and asked her where to find the singles class. She said, and I quote, “Oh honey, I think you mean the college class, don't you?”

Swallowing my frustration, I smiled and explained that I had been exchanging emails with one of their ministers. Her smile remained but her eyes grew concerned. She began to look decidedly uncomfortable and I felt the familiar little burst of anxiety in my chest. I had been so sure this was going to go smoothly.

Finally she gestured toward the Elders meeting and sighed, “Well, I think that must have been the class he was telling you about.”

I turned and looked a little more closely at the room. What I had mistaken for an elders meeting was actually people just gathering before class-and there wasn't a non-gray head in the room. Now please don't misunderstand. I realize that there are singles of all ages, and that we all face on own challenges. And while hindsight has led me to understand that the minister was likely just practicing a little wishful thinking in order to reach out to me and help his class grow-at the time all I could see was what seemed to be a cruel deception. Since when is a 50 “pretty much” 25?

It was at that moment I gave in and went to the college class. And it was there that I learned another important lesson about interacting with brothers and sisters in Christ that you've never met before:


Be very careful how you introduce yourself

I take you back to the very same Sunday morning (truly, it was just a wonderful Lord's day, let me tell you). The nice and now rather sympathetic church member who had clued me into the “singles” class led me to the college class that both of her sons attended. I was nervous but resigned. If I could just make it through Bible class and get to worship, everything would be OK.

With that thought, I pasted a smile on my face and walked into a room of five 18 year old boys and a man who looked to be about my father's age. Wondering if I'd stumbled yet another wrong class, I looked to my guide only to be shot a reassuring smile and she closed the door behind me.

My nerves are really the only thing that can account for what happened next, I suppose. Meeting new people has never been my strong suit, and I would rather get my eyebrows waxed then interact more than I have to with teenage boys. So, when I introduced myself to the teacher, I simply told him my name and that I had recently moved from the Midwest. When he asked why I had moved so far, I simply replied that I had been looking for a change.

Not a great answer-but surely nothing suspicious in that, right? Strike 2.

He nodded calmly and then proceeded to introduce me to everyone as “This is Sarah-she has just moved out here to turn over a new leaf and get a fresh start.”

And just like that, five 18 year old boys started looking at me like a reformed prostitute that had moved out of Texas to escape her life of sin.

Dreaming of Lots and Lots of Clouds

So here's the thing-- I'm not some temperature-fragile person that grew up somewhere where it never gets above 75 and never goes below 55. I've lived in the Midwest for 95% of my life-- and I know how to handle summer weather just like I know how to handle ice storms. But I just have to say this and get it off my chest:

This summer is completely and utterly ridiculous! It has been 106 degrees for the last I don't know how many days in a row.....and I am SICK OF IT and so is my electricity bill. It is currently 85 degrees in my condo-- and it is not for lack of effort on my air conditioner's part. She's trying....she really is.... but she just can't keep up. (Yes, my A/C is a woman--- and my heater is a man......I will let you figure out the "hot air" related explanation for yourselves)

So basically? This is just me complaining. Heat, Heat Go Away. I would say "Come again some other day" but I wouldn't really mean it. Check back with me in January. I might be willing to throw you a bone then.

Scenes From An Airport: A Transcription

TSA Agent: "Please keep your boarding pass as you step through the metal detector"

Me: (looks at the TSA Agent) "Do you think my necklace is a problem? Should I take it off?"

TSA Agent: (shrugs) "I guess we'll find out"

Me: "Ooookay" (puts my baggie of liquids next to my shoes in the little cart and pushes my plastic tub o' belongings on the the X-Ray belt--- and then hold my breath as I walk through the metal detector..... as if that makes any difference in it going off or not)

Metal Detector: "......"

Me: (Breathes a sigh of relief and hands off my boarding pass to Mr TSA)

TSA Agent: "So, how is your day going today?"

Me: "Oh, not too bad" (my lack of enthusiasm may have had something to do with finding out shortly beforehand that our flight was delayed enough to make us miss our connection)

TSA Agent: (looks at my boarding pass, then looks up at me-- and finally sort of smiles) "Oh, your day has got to be good looking as FINE as that."

Me: "....." (did he really just say what I think he said? and if I glare at him, will he take away my boarding pass and insist that I get sent for extra screening?)

TSA Agent: (hands back my boarding pass still smirking expectantly)

Me: "Oh...uhm....heh.....yeah, well.....thanks" (there may have been some additional blushing)

TSA Agent: (winks)"You have a NICE day"

Me: "Thanks!" (goes to collect my belongings off of the X-Ray belt--- put my shoes on and walk at least 20 feet away from security to wait for Cheryl to come through.....in the meantime I look at my boarding pass to figure out what gate we are looking for)

TSA Agent: (comes from out of nowhere and grabs again for my boarding pass) "Let me see that-- let's figure out what gate you are at....where are you going today?"

Me: (slowly realizing that Mr TSA has decided to spend his break using the "treat a woman like a 5 year old child" method of hitting on her) "Oh, yeah-- I think we are flying out of gate 7.....I actually already know where that is"

Cheryl: (walks up smirking like she knows exactly what is going on)

Me: "I was just waiting for my friend"

TSA Agent: (frowns, hands back my boarding pass and walks off)

Cheryl: (smirking even more than Mr TSA) "I always scare them off, don't I?"

Me: "Shut up. Just SHUT UP. I don't want to hear it."

Mea Culpa

So it has come to my attention (from multiple sources) lately that I am a terrible blogger. I got all of your hopes up with my whole "post every day in May" trick and then promptly began to slack off again (despite my pledge to the contrary). Sadly, it has become clear that I am apparently a person who needs rules and guidelines in order to actually get things done. (Does this mean I could never be a freelance writer? How sad) Any of my college roommates could tell you that I never wrote my papers until the night before they were due. What can I say? That's just how I roll.

And so I would like to announce that I am now once again committing myself to posting every day- this time for the month of August. It doesn't rhyme, but hopefully it will be a good time. (Does a secondary rhyme get me credit??)