Analyze THIS

I've been having lots of weird dreams lately. One involved a Friday the 13th-like scenario with me and other people running around some summer camp. (No, I haven't watched any horror movies lately)

One involved one of my good (single) friends getting pregnant and lots of conversations with my father (the dream version) with him insisting he had no idea she was "THAT kind of girl!!!!" (he was taking it very hard)

There was another dream where I accidentally dyed my hair blond and was SO relieved when I woke up and realized I still had brown hair.

But by far the most disturbing (to me) dream was the one where I had these long purple, hairs growing out of my finger tips. I just couldn't figure out how to groom it-- and if I should shave it (how WOULD you shave your fingertips?) or try to pluck it or WHAT. But I did have the (dream) thought that it would nicely conceal my fingerprints. WHY dream version of me was worried about this....I have no idea. Maybe I was going to be a covert Muppet or something......

Surprising Things About Being Single in My 30s

1. It totally snuck up on me.

2. I don't mind it nearly as much as the 15 year old me thought I would.

3. My father has revealed a previously unsuspected busybody/matchmaking streak.

4. My mother remains well behaved (at least to my face).

5. I have so many friends that are ALSO single to keep me company.

6. It is kind of fun and not a little liberating.

7. Having this many years to watch marriages from afar has left me with a conflicted view of the institution. (No unmarried person should be made to watch the movie Fireproof. If that movie doesn't make marriage look utterly exhausting, I don't know what does. I mean-- if you are already in it, great! Work hard at it! But for us singletons? Let's just say it isn't exactly a marriage recruitment video....)

8. Did I mention that my father has revealed his busybody tendencies? Well, it is worth mentioning twice because it was doubly surprising.

Breaking Out My Rusty Typing Fingers

Anyone who has known me for more than a day knows that I am-- well, how to put it?? Let's just say I am a candid person. I often share more about myself than anyone probably wants to know..... for instance, if I do something particularly stupid-- I usually can't wait to tell as many people as possible about it (particularly if it is a FUNNY stupid thing--- for instance when I figured out last year that a "Water Pill" is not actually a pill that magically hydrates people).

But the interesting thing about being a candid person is that many people also assume that I don't have an inner edit button. Several people in the past year have joked with me that they always know what I'm thinking because (and I quote) "If Sarah thinks it, she says it". And for some reason, I have found that surprising. While I admit I almost always have something to say about everything (even if it is just to announce I know nothing about the topic on hand)--- it really amuses me that I might have a reputation for saying everything that pops into my head....because seriously? What I actually say out loud constitutes about a 1/3 of what is going on in my head (if that).

I apologize if that scares you.

Alas, I realize that just because I manage not to spew my every thought on to the world does not make me mysterious or anything.....but I would like to reserve the right to be not quite the open book that everyone thinks I am.

Hong Kong Int'l Airport

Ok- I promise to start actually WRITING blogs again very soon.....but in the meantime you have to check out this awesomness. Why does this never happen when I'M at the Hong Kong airport??

Color Me Surprised

Look-- a little awareness!!!

(The saddest part of the whole thing is the last line-- they hope he doesn't mean it???)

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Changefest '09 - Obama's Inaugural Speech

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Food For Thought

Agree or Disagree.....but I thought this was interesting

This is Probably A Bad Idea

I've been thinking about doing this post for awhile-- sort of arguing with myself about it, to be honest. But I've decided that Katie might need some cheering up today...and so I am just going to quit putting it off and just put it out there......

What am I rambling about, you ask? Well-- I think I have covered my need for deadlines multiple times on this blog (look no further than my "post every day attempts" for proof). I have also mentioned more than once that I have started a ton of books/stories over the years that I never, ever finish. And finally-- as anyone who reads the comments on this blog (and if you had access to my emails and/or phone conversations) knows that Katie is one of my biggest "supporters" (or "naggers" depending on my mood) when it comes to getting me to write.

So combine all these things and what do you get? Well-- you get me deciding in December to announce what I am going to TRY and give Katie for her birthday in May. And I figure if I announce it here, then that means I sort of really have to do it. And what is "it" that I am going to have to do?

I am going to write and COMPLETE a book for Katie for her birthday. It is likely not going to be very good or will probably not be seen by anyone but her (and maybe Laurie if I rope her into editing for me).....but I'm putting this out there so I can't back out.

So there you go. I now have to actually finish something and I have until May 18th to do it.

Eeek.

Tag From Katie

I've been tagged by Katie to post 5 things about myself that you may not know. Since I tend to overshare in everyday life, I'm going to have to get a little obscure......


1. I have recently decided to try washing my hair once a week.

2. There are three songs I obsessively listen to in my car:
*The Story by Brandi Carlisle
*Fell in Love Without You (Acoustic) by Motion City Soundtrack
*Sometime Around Midnight by The Airborne Toxic Event

3. I am in love with my new down comforter.

4. I have checked out approximately 30 books from the library this month....which is more than the past 3 years combined.

5. I have a large stash of toothbrushes I've taken from hotels all across China.

Question of the Day (with Bonus Answer!)

Question:

How do you know your gym time isn't as effective as you'd like?


Answer:

The cashier at Akins assumes you are buying powdered Vitamin C as a part of a diet plan.

The Story

Two girls pull into the parking lot of a gas station

Me: Ok, you wait here while I run in and get cash

Mandy: (already reading her book and ignoring me)

Me: (Locks the door and gets out of the car)

5 minutes later

Me: (Taps on the window)

Mandy: (Unlocks the door)

Me: (Getting in the car) "What's the noise?"

Car: HONK HONK HONK HONK

Me: (Looks around) "Is that my car? What is that?"

Car: HONK HONK HONK

Mandy: "Uh, your alarm?!"

Car: HONK HONK HONK HONNNKKKKK

Me: "I DON'T HAVE AN ALARM!"

Car: HONK HONK HONK

Mandy: "Uh, apparently you do."

Car: HONK HONK HONK HONK

Me: "I don't know how to shut it off!" (pushing every button I can think of)

Car: HONK HONK HONK HONK

Me: (Decides the best thing to do is start the car and drive off with alarm blazing, cause really-- I'm sure DRIVING OFF will make the alarm shut off, right?) "Make it stop!"

Car: HONK HONK HONK

Mandy: .........

Car: HONK HONK HONK

Me: (Pulls the car back over around the corner from the gas station) "Get the manual out! Does the manual say anything about how to shut it up??"

Car: HONK HONK HONK

Mandy: "Give me your keys!"

Car: HONK HONK HO....

Me: "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

Mandy: "I don't know. I pushed a button"


Moral of this story? Still don't know what turned it on and still don't know what turned it off. Good times for all!

Surprise!

My car apparently has an alarm I didn't know about. Wanna know how I found out?

Pop Quiz

Which item is more dangerous for the visitors to the White House?

Random Thought of the Evening

You know what I don't appreciate? A workout machine that has "Are you enjoying your workout?" pop up on the screen every 5 minutes or so. You and I both know that you don't care if I'm enjoying my workout, machine, so just stick to telling me who much longer it is until I can get off and how many calories I've burned and we'll call it good.

Lesson Learned

Sometimes it isn't about the message-- just the messenger.

Sisterly Love

So, I am breaking my silence to answer my tag from Katie. I was supposed to post the 6th picture from the 6th folder of my photos. Because of the way I have my pictures done, that was easier asked than actually done. This is as close as I can get.

Happy Birthday Andrea!

This one is for you (and only you will understand it!)

An Important Update

I know that many of you can't wait for me to go to Hong Kong for the sole reason that you are in desperate need of an update on the status of the breakfast buffet at the JW Marriott. Throughout past trips, you have heard my complaints about the status of their bacon (it was gross) amongst other things.

Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the breakfast buffet underwent a little bit of a makeover (very disconcerting my first morning down-- totally interfered with my usual routine)-- but it did result in (drum roll please)......better bacon!

Sadly, though, this better bacon has come at a high cost. The bad news is this: they have DROPPED both the peanut butter AND the Nutella from the buffet. How is a girl supposed to have her peanut butter and nutella toast with slivered almonds on top without 2 of the 4 ingredients?? They finally dug up some peanut butter for me (apparently the smoothie guy had a stash) but, really...it got a little old having to ask for it EVERY morning.

I wonder if any of this has to do with why Mandy has started calling me "princess" on this trip. Personally I don't see the connection-- but whatever. (It probably doesn't help my case that I noticed on check in that they had hand written "SOFT MATTRESS!!" on the bottom of my paperwork......)

Questions and Answers

Q- How do you know you might be in trouble on a late night taxi ride from the airport?

A- Your Chinese coworker calls ahead to the hotel you are traveling towards to give them your names and the approximate time your drive should take just in case you never show up.



Q- If you are staying at a Best Western in the far East, is it still a Best Western?

A- Yes, apparently so.



Q- Did China's clean air initiative for the Olympics last past the big event?

A- No, apparently not.

The Test

Today I found myself being thoroughly tested on the very thing I posted about not too long ago-- not assuming that people are judging you when they stare and/or frown at you. And I know I said I was going to stop presuming that I know what everyone around me is thinking-- but let me ask you this: If a group of hot, Italian men in designer jeans and loafers that at least 12 baby alligators had to die for are staring at you....what is easier to assume?

A) That they are entranced by your sexy limp as you walk own the aisle at the jewelry show

or

B) That they are JUDGING your Payless mary-janes (that gave you the blister causing the aforementioned sexy limp) and Target skirt that is now going on 3 years old (and is growing more grey than black) as you walk down the aisle at the jewelry show

15 Hours in Coach Analysis

1. When United says "economy" they mean "You better be 5'2" and 95lbs if you want to sit comfortably in our seats"

2. I'm hoping to regain feeling in my knees again shortly

3. Note to the weird woman in front of me who had her airline blanket OVER HER HEAD for most of the flight: You don't have your seat fully reclined at all times-- if you are eating and or not even actually in your seat for periods of time, the polite thing to do is to sit your seat up so some of us can try and shift our wedged in positions a little.

4. Note to the weird middle aged Chinese man sitting next to the blanket head woman: taking a picture of yourself with a flash on a dark plane can be excused the first time. Sitting there repeatedly taking pictures of yourself so that the plane cabin starts to resemble a dance club in Athens is annoying. Sitting there gazing fixedly at the 20 pictures you have taken of yourself in your seat is just creepy.

5. As a general rule, tray tables should not be used as a trampoline to occupy 2 year olds.