The Setting:
After Work--Walmart--Frozen Food Aisle
A young(ish) woman stands pondering the frozen treats section wishing she wasn't at Walmart at all, but knowing she has to be there because her 9 year old niece actually took the time to email her AT WORK to make sure she was planning on buying "break and bake" cookies for their sleepover the following night.
Youngish Woman: (stares at ice cream)
Short Creepy Dude: (walks by....stops...doubles back)
Youngish Woman: (sees short creepy dude out of the corner of her eye and really hopes that all the sudden staring means he's really really into frozen dairy products)
Short Creepy Dude: (walks up, walks around the back of youngish woman, and grins)
Youngish Woman: (internally sighs and stares intently at the ice cream as if the label on Chunky Monkey is going to reveal all of life's mysteries to her)
Short Creepy Dude: "Hello, Lady."
Youngish Woman: (can't help but immediately think of Andre the Giant's character in The Princess Bride even though the guy that is talking to her must be 5'2" at best)
Short Creepy Dude: "Do you live here in this city?"
Youngish Woman: (still not talking, but nods slightly and tries to figure out if she has ever heard that kind of accent before)
Short Creepy Dude: (smiles) "I admire your beauty."
Youngish Woman: "Uh, thanks" (cause really-- no matter how creepy the dude is, how can you not say thanks to THAT?)
Short Creepy Dude: (visibly encouraged by actual words) "So, do you live here?"
Youngish Woman: (nods without looking away from the ice cream and wonders why this guy's gums are so, so red...that can't be healthy.)
Short Creepy Dude: "Where do you live? Around here? Where?" (looks around as if he is going to suddenly see her house revealed in all it's glory)
Youngish Woman: (sees no recourse but to tell a very obvious lie) "I live over there with my husband." (points with her ringless left hand towards the general direction of the pharmacy section)
Short Creepy Dude: (loses his grin for the first time and nods.....stands there for a minute and then finally walks off)
February 25, 2010
The Story
Posted by Sarah at 8:54 PM
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5 comments:
For some reason I'm picturing a guy that could work for a carnival and I am LOL!!! Poor guy, you crushed his dreams. :o( But I'm glad he was sad to find out you were "married" because I was afraid you have found yourself the target of a mini-serial killer.
If I were to live in a Walmart/Supermarket, I would also choose to be in/around the pharmacy section. It's usually cleaner because not as many food spills (as opposed to the deli/meat dept - who knows whats growing on those floors.) It is usually close to the produce, a restroom, and a water fountain. The blood pressure station would provide entertainment. In summary, I agree with your choice of a fictional home in the pharmacy department. Now if only Art Vandelay were a pharmacist instead of an Architect...
rmt
This made me laugh. Certainly was a bold little guy, wasn't he??
Thanks for the detailed recount! This was humorous! I'm glad he took the hint.
Wonderful replay! Thank you. :-) Cheryl
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