When I'm Too Lazy To Type....

This is what you get:

Part One:





Part Two:





And if anyone cares to compare:

The Pretty People

There are some people that seem to have a strange ability-- no, let's be honest... it really is more of a superpower. A superpower that defies description....one that no woman in the world would refuse. What is this magical gift they have been granted, you ask? They are able to look the same after work as they do in the morning. These gifted people are able to end the day with the same amount of makeup on as when they first left their bathrooms. Their hair stays in the same basic position all day long.

They don't wilt.
They don't perspire.
They don't get rings of mascara and eyeliner that seep into their eye wrinkles.
They don't forget they have eye makeup on (after some 12 years of wearing it regularly) and rub their eyes.
They can walk around Hong Kong looking chic and cool at any hour of the day.
They can spend 14 hours on a plane and look no worse for the wear.



I? Am not one of those people.

Thoughts from The East

*We were almost treated to a taxi driver brawl at the Yiwu airport the other night because the driver at the front of the queue didn't want to take the Chinese man who was first in line.... he wanted the "foreigner" behind him. (I'm trying to picture THAT happening in New York City) Also, since Chinese men often sound (to me) like they are fighting when they are just having normal conversations-- you should hear a group of 10 of them when they really ARE furious! I'm still mad that my camera was in my suitcase where I couldn't get it. What I wouldn't give to have video. It was highly entertaining.


*It is possible that I have seen more Australians today in Hong Kong than actual Hong Kong residents.

*As we were walking the Jewelry Show today, my boss mentioned that he thought he was going to have to change his style for the next trip. When I asked him what he meant, he gestured towards a group of well dressed men and said "I guess you have to dress like a gay man." My response? "They aren't gay.... they're Italian."


*Speaking of Italians, I wonder at what point my boss is going to start thinking that me pointing out hot men to the other buyers is unprofessional.

In Case You Wondered

I can apparently no longer access my blog while in mainland China. Also? Facebook seems to be off limits. Weird.
I'll post more later, but am too tired write now to update on the trip much. I'm attaching proof-- here's what I look like at the end of the day over here...

This is How I Know I'm Old

Since she was old enough to know what a wedding is, my niece, Anna, has asked me about once or twice a year the following question:

"Aunt Sarah, if you ever meet a boy you like enough and decide to get married-- can I be a flower girl?"

She's 9 now (almost 10) and when she was here last month the question changed to:

"Aunt Sarah, if you ever meet a boy you like enough to marry-- can I be a bridesmaid??"

I told her she would have to duke it out with my friend, Katie. :-)

Conversation of the Day

Me: "So, Meredith-- are you ever going to tell me about your crush?"

Meredith: "I'm not telling you who I have a crush on!"

Me: "Oh come on! I'm your aunt! This is the stuff you are supposed to tell me."

Meredith: "Uhm, yeah. You're my aunt with a Blog AND a Facebook page! I'm not telling you!"

Quote of the Day

As spoken from Eli to Meredith:

"You'll agree that I am an expert manipulator of my voice."

A VERY IMPORTANT DAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!!!!


To celebrate, I offer you Josie and Anna's favorite things/memories about you:

Josie's Top Five:

1. You are pretty
2. You are great at sewing.
3. You have great ice cream.
4. You make super good food (Your cinnamon rolls are DELICIOUS!)
5. The M&M delivery

(Anyone sensing a theme??)


Anna's Top Five:

1. She just loves you.
2. Cinnamon Rolls!!
3. You are a very sweet grandmother
4. All the things you have made for her
5. Ice Cream and Pizza!

A Major Part of My Childhood

You have no idea how happy I am to have found this..... AND when all of my nieces are here so I can continue to pass on the joy of the original Cabbage Patch Sing Along Album. (Someone posted all the songs on You Tube, but this is the only one I remembered verbatim as an adult....)

Things I Have Wondered Today

*Who decided that female jumpsuits should make a comeback?


(Follow Up Question)
*Why has that person not yet been shot?


*If a horse and a donkey can mate and make a mule, and a horse and a zebra can mate and make a zorse, then why can't a donkey and zebra mate and make a zonkey? And why isn't a mule called a honkey? (wait....I think I know the answer to that one....)



*If Senators and Congressmen don't actually write OR read the legislation they are voting on, then just who DOES do all that? Are 19 year old interns really ruling the US Congress?


*If I was sent back 100 years in time would I be totally useless? Do I need to learn a new home-ec type skill just in case?


*If I was sent back 400 years in time and managed to take back a big thing of Morton's Salt....just how rich would I be?


*Who was the first dude to decide he was thirsty enough to try drinking cow's milk?


*Who was the very first person to ever be named Emma? There had to be SOMEONE who was the first....


*Who decided that Owls were the next big thing in accessories? Or Squirrels? What is it with all of the woodland creatures lately?

Things That Would Make Me Happy (or HappIER)

1. The television show "Homefront" coming out on DVD.

2. Being able to afford this from Anthropologie: SUPER FUN COAT

3. Being told that peanut butter has a magical weight loss effect.

4. An announcement that Stephenie Meyer has decided to finish Midnight Sun.

5. To read that Nancy Pelosi has resigned.

6. Free Mascara for life

7. A sunless tanning cream that doesn't SMELL like sunless tanner.

8. To learn that John Mayar isn't nearly the putz I believe him to be.

9. Another Bourne movie in the next 2 years

10. Learning that I CAN wear t-strap shoes without looking like I have Heffalump feet.

A Pretend Past

Sometimes I think it would be fun to live in the Old West.....but not the real Old West. I'm talking about the Old West as written by Lori Wick.

The one where there are men who are both single and employed in various manly professions.

The one where the aforementioned men are just waiting for the love a good woman who may or may not know how to cook.

The one where the people work hard but don't seem to actually live in sod houses or worry about twisters or plagues of locusts.

The one where there is only one church in town that is always taught by the world's most patient minister who always has a saintly wife and 5 year old that is always saying things to make the adults laugh and think "Oohh, what a little scamp!"

The one where people who don't know each other often seemed forced into marriage for a variety of reasons but ALWAYS eventually discover they are soul mates.

The one where there are insanely large families and then men are always really, really good at handling the kids.

The one where the lack of air conditioning is not an issue.

The one where chivalry is not dead and hygiene is not questionable.

There Was No Military Coup in Honduras!!

Please watch. I know some of you are probably sick of hearing about this from me, but it is important to get the TRUTH out there. I don't know why our government has taken the wrong side on this-- but they have!!

Mathis Brothers, The Sequel

Another scene of trying to crack the most literal man on the planet:

John: "And over here we have a slightly darker leather couch, but still a very nice quality item..."

Me: (stares at the couch trying to figure out what it reminds me of)

John: "See how nice that leather feels?"

Me: "It is very shiny..." (still trying to figure out what it reminds me of)

Heather: (sits and tries to look at the couch since she's trying to actually get something done)

John: "Oh, the shine is just from the lights" (points to the overhead spotlight pointed at the couch) "The average person wouldn't have a 150 watt bulb pointing at the leather in their home."

Me: (shrugs) "Well, not unless they really like being under a spotlight while watching television."

John: (frowns) "No, no. People don't do that. They don't have lights like this."

Me: (sighs on the inside and then the lightbulb goes off) "Leather pants! It is a leather pants couch!"

John: (frowns and wishes the girl with the money would make me shut up)

Searching For A Sense of Humor At Mathis Brother's Furniture

Tonight Heather and I went furniture shopping (for Heather, not me). We met a man who was intent on selling some leather furniture. He was very knowledgeable about the aforementioned leather furniture, but he did not respond well to any attempt at levity. My favorite exchange of the evening follows:


Me: "So how fragile is leather furniture? Does it scratch very easily?"

Very Literal Sales Man: "NO! Scratch? Leather doesn't scratch! What happens to a cow when it rubs itself against barbed wire? Hm?"

Me: (with a blank look) "Uhm. I have no idea what happens to a cow when it rubs itself against barbed wire."

Very Literal Sales Man: (frowns) "Well, it doesn't scratch!"

Hiatus Over!

5 Signs You Might Be The Loudest Person At Your Office
(Based On A True Story)


1. No one ever asks you to stop muttering.

2. No one seems to be surprised when you enter the room.

3. Your coworkers tend to take two steps back when you stop to talk to them.

4. If given a choice between riding in a car with you and walking, they choose walking.

5. People flinch when you tell them "Good Morning".

Dangers of the Hallway at Work

So yesterday a man in the hallway at work watched me walked by and then looked to the heavens and sighed. I had to laugh because I really don't know-- is it good to make a man sigh?? I've never seen him before-- so he couldn't ALREADY be exasperated to see me coming....unless word of me had spread, I guess.....

8 Words You Never Want To Hear

"You'd Be Responsible For Paying for the Crane"


P.S. I think there should be a rule that if you put the word "Expert" in your business title-- that you actually have to BE AN EXPERT.

A Thought

It seems like there's been a lot of loss for people I love lately. It has made it hard to be flippant and whiny- which are my two favorite things to do on this blog. I'm sure I'll return to random thoughts soon enough....but for now-- do me a favor and remember to tell your friends you love them....and don't wait for something bad to happen before you go see them.

I didn't post yesterday. Don't particularly want to post today..... so the question is, does this count?