Men and Remotes

There are many nice things about being single that are often overlooked-- one of which is that I have complete control over all of my electronics including the remote control. This was true until yesterday, anyway. What happened yesterday you ask? Well, it is quite simple-- the Cox Cable Man came to visit.

Now don't get me wrong-- I was thrilled that he was able to come out a day before their original estimate (to fix the cable that I later found out had been broken BY THEM the previous week while I was gone...but that is another story). I was even happy to stay in my house for the 4 hour window of opportunity they gave me just so I could have my DVR and internet capabilities returned to me. But it would have been nice if fixing the cable was ALL he did.

Perhaps to best explain my visit with the Cable Man (who incidentally was the spitting image of Don Cheadle in sunglasses), I should transcribe our initial interaction:



Setting: Sarah's living room

Sarah: (sitting on the couch reading-- cause without internet or TV what else was she going to do? CLEAN? I think not)

Doorbell: "Ring! Ring!"

Sarah: (hops up with a disproportionate amount of enthusiasm, opens door)

Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike:......... (stands 4 feet back from the door and stares at Sarah in silence)

Sarah: "Hi!" (moves back while holding the door open to indicate he is welcome to come in)

Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike:.......... (makes no move from where he is still standing about 4 feet back from the door)

Sarah: "Uh, would you like to come in?" (makes a Vanna Whiteish sweeping gesture towards the TV in the living room)

Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike:.......... (somewhere crickets begin to chirp)

Sarah: ........ (raises eyebrows)

Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike: "You got cut" (He speaks!)

Sarah: "What?"

Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike: "You got cut"

Sarah: "Am I supposed to know what that means?" (and also? No duh!)

Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike:"Blah Blah Blah...." (proceeds to give a big long explanation the point of which is that I have no cable because the previous cable man that came out to help one of my neighbors was a moron)


Now, I don't know if the above truly conveys the awkward idiocy of our initial meeting, but I was prepared to give Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike a chance. He disappeared for about 30 minutes before coming back up to see if the cable was back on. And that's when it happened-- Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike took over my electronics. The tipping point, I think, was when he realized that I had not programmed my Cable Remote to work on my television set. (And can I just point out here that it isn't that I don't know HOW-- I have done it many times before-- I just didn't care!) Anyhoo-- from that point on, it was a 10 minute free for all. Before I realized what was happening, he changed all of the settings on my cable box and DVR. He changed the settings on my television. He even changed the COLOR SCHEME of my DVR to some weird Hunter/Camo display (instead of the purple I'm rather fond of). I spent 45 minutes after he left just trying to figure out what all he did so I could undo some of it.

And (as this post so clearly indicates)-- I'm still annoyed about it! It was as if once he realized there wasn't a "man" in control of the electronics, he thought he could do whatever he wanted. Cable Man/Don Cheadle look alike-- you abused your position!