So You Wanna Understand Men. That's Cute. Really.

You'll Thank Me For This Some Day: Part Deux

So if the following post means absolutely nothing to you, please see below:

Part One


So I promised this would be continued, and it just so happens that we've recently stumbled onto a few new issues that have been indentified by our specialists. (Plus I keep getting in trouble for not updating.....so Amy & Susan-- this is for you)


Social Amnesia
While this disorder used to be rare, it has become more and more common throughout the early 21st Century. Men with this condition seem unable to recall what their plans are when asked. The result of this disease is an inability to firmly commit to any plans-- big or small. Men who are afflicted with Social Amnesia simply can not be expected to be timely or to make or keep plans. If they do attempt to settle a plan, friends and family should remember that the subject simply cannot be trusted to know his own mind.



Apology Reflux
A chronic condition that occurs when men are forced to repeatedly apologize to the women in their lives. Common symptoms include a sour taste in the mouth, a burning sensation in the stomach, and redness on the temples from repeated brow beating. Studies have shown that small levels of "sincerity" can go a long way to reducing these symptoms.



Antonym Response Syndrome
This speech disorder is more commonly referred to as "Opposite Day Loop". This is because men who are afflicted become unable to say what they mean. The more they try to convey their thoughts and feelings, the more they get stuck in the loop. If they are jealous, they find themselves saying they are amused. If their feelings are hurt, they will complain of physical pain from kicking the nearest wall. If they don't want to see you anymore, they will offer to call you tomorrow night. This syndrome often begins in early childhood, but the good news is that if it is caught early by a diligent mother, the effects can be reversed.




It should be pointed out that it is only because of my great love of men that I feel that I can mock them so. As anyone who knows me will tell you-- I probably wouldn't bother otherwise. I have been thinking, though, that it seems unfair to just pick on the men. There are a lot of female disorders out there as well--and the only fair thing to do might be to have our experts weigh in on those as well. I might get kicked out of the girl club for that, though, so I will have to ponder that one.