Fun For the Directionally Challenged

Merry Day After Christmas Everyone!

I got many wonderful presents this year from many wonderful people (I could go on about my new flannel sheets at this point, but then you would just want to know where they are from and then I would just have to lie to you given the topic of my previous post....)-- However, what I am going to share with you today has to do with this little guy:




That's right, folks.....I am now the proud owner of a Garmin GPS thingy-bopper (that's the technical name, right?). I've only test driven it (literally) once-- on the drive home from KS yesterday. It didn't start out well because as I was pulling out of McPherson, it was giving me very clear, precise directions on how to get out of Kansas City. One phone call to my sister (who then asked Stephen) gave me the critical clue that I had not extended the flap on the back of it thus activating the actual GPS system. (details, details). Once we agreed on my actual location-- my Garmin and I hit it off quite nicely.

You might think that the promise of never being lost might have impressed me most....or the option of finding any kind food joint that fits my fancy at any given location.....or even the ability to play MP3s and audio books to my heart's content....but no. I'm much easier than that.

I am in love with my Garmin because I have the option of being given my directions by a cute Australian guy (ok, I don't know if he's cute or not...but he's Australian and he knows where he's going....so how bad can he be?) or by a bookish yet attractive British fellow (again-- I'm filling in the lines with the "bookish yet attractive" bit-- so sue me). But the bottom line is this-- I can pick what sexy accent I want to listen to! Daily!

I love technology.

An Open Letter to Land's End

Dear Land's End,

Over the years we've had some good times together. You've provided me with several nice jackets that were just as water-proof as you promised, shoes that carried me through Ireland, flannel sheets that made it very hard to get out of bed in the morning.....the list really does go on and on. You've been a good friend, but we need to talk. Our relationship has taken an ugly turn lately. I don't know how else to put this-- so I'll just tell it to you straight. The truth is, you've gotten needy......really REALLY needy.

It seems that not a day goes by that I don't get some sort of new catalog from you in the mail. Monday I got your bedding catalog. Tuesday came your Christmas wish list catalog. Wednesday was a blockbuster day that brought both your men's ware catalog AND your kid's catalog. Thursday things were looking up since I didn't hear from you, but then Friday came. Friday brought 3 catalogs, but honestly I can't even tell you what they were because in my anger I threw them all in the trash before even glancing at them.

Is it possible? Does ANYONE buy enough from you to justify THAT many catalogs? Is there that great a need for waterproof fabics and flannels in this world? Doesn't everyone probably just shop your online catalog anyway? I hate to call you a stalker-- but dude, the shoe is starting to fit. Maybe you're just feeling insecure because of that Eddie Bauer catalog that came last week....but you should take a cue from him. Eddie plays it much cooler than you-- he only sends me catalogs once every couple of weeks. He's luring me in by playing hard to get.

I would say that it's not you, it's me....but well, that's not true. It IS you, Land's End. You and your paper usage are out of control. It is time to do a little more soul searching and a little less tree chopping. Think it over and pull yourself together. Nobody likes desperation.

Maybe after some time apart, we can rediscover what brought us together in the first place.

Sincerely,

Sarah

I Don't Know If This Will Amuse Anyone Else

But here are the top Google searches that apparently lead people to my blog:

1. "How to be mysterious"

No real surprise here......but finally proof that I am not the only one who "secretly" WANTS to be mysterious! I just never thought to google it.

2. "Two Ways to Travel"

I don't even know what this means

3. "Dorky Men"

This one might be my favorite. I just can't decide WHO is googling dorky men. Is it the dorky men or is it the women who love them?

4. "English Majors are Weird"

Clearly, these people have an agenda. I guess I am proving them right?

5. "What car has manly horns"

See! See??? I am not the only person stuck with a girlie, no-good car horn! Sadly, there are no answers to be found here.

6. "Purple Rock Types"

I don't even remember that I've written anything about my purple rock on here, but I guess I have.

7. "10 Things Not To Get A Girl For Christmas"

It's a seasonal google search!

Question of the Day

Hypothetically speaking, just how concerned should you be if you are (gently) told by a 7 year old that you have too much makeup on?

Hypothetically.