10. A fur coat. (It's not so much an animal rights thing as it is a I've never seen anyone wear one and not look like they are trying to be an German Countess thing)
9. A personalized license plate. (If you have to ask why-- then you probably don't know me well enough to buy me a present in the first place)
8. Wonder Woman Underoos (Any member of my family would be thrilled to explain this one to you as it's almost a Christmas tradition in our household. First we have the hershey kiss countdown and then we have the telling of the time Sarah cried)
7. Cabbage Patch Kid Bunk Beds (I know you wouldn't want to duplicate something I already have! Of course, I never got to use them as my parents broke them on Christmas Day only to never get them fixed, but the ensuing 18 years or so have clearly erased the bitterness from my mind)
6. A Nose Flute (Sadly, I already have one of these as well. What can I say? Even "santa" gets a little desperate every now and then)
5. "A.L.F." on DVD
4. Any movie or books about fiesty old people. (I don't know who decided that making up stories involving cranky people past their prime was a great method for entertaning the masses, but you owe me 2 hours of my life back for "Driving Miss Daisy"-- and even though I never saw "Grumpy Old Men" or the classic, "Grumpier Old Men" I feel you owe me something for them as well....mostly just for the fact that they exist.)
3. No theme purses. (The rare person other than me can pull it off. However, I am not one of those people-- nor do I have any interest in being one of those people)
2. An ice cream scoop (OK, this one isn't really true. At this stage in my life, it would be great to get a new ice cream scoop. But I mostly just brought it up to point out that someone gave me an Ice Cream Scoop for my HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION. What kind of thought process went into this? "OK, let's see.....she's 18, she's going off to college, what can we get her that will really send her on her way towards success?" Unless of course the goal was to send me on to success in gaining the "freshman 15" -- then I will have to say: Job well done, sir!)
1. Dating/Relationship Manuals of any kind. (I don't care if it's "Sole-Searching: The Art of Judging Men by Their Shoes" or "Almost Three Decades Alone! Do You Feel Like a Failure Yet?" or even "He's Just Not That Into You-- Yeah You. Hey! You! I Really Do Mean YOU!", do us all a favor and leave it on the shelf)
December 20, 2005
10 Things Not To Get Me For Christmas
Posted by Sarah at 9:03 PM
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5 comments:
Girl, you crack me up. I never knew you had issues with Driving Miss Daisy and the likes. What's wrong with old people? Gosh, I remember cracking up in that movie (I think it was a car scene) ;)
Just for the record, I have no issues with old people in general. I love old people-- and I am well aware that I will (hopefully) be an old person some day. But I object to the idea that cranky old people are SO entertaining that we should all pay money to watch them!
*Ahem* You're kinda sounding like a cranky old person right now. Glad that I didn't have to pay to read your blog. *Ahem*
Says the man who has a million plastic superheroes in his bedroom along with a picture of Orlando Bloom......
Daggumit!
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