Proof that I Am a Dweeb

Today I got into a prolonged conversation with the cashier at Super Walmart about the varied flavors of Rotisserie Chicken available and what our preferences were. I think the low point was her enthusiasm about the fact that I found a "Buttery Garlic" chicken and me comparing it to seeing a Unicorn.

I am officially hopeless.

The Aggressive Mommy Syndrome

I've been noticing a troubling trend lately that I'm finally going to take the time to address-- but as I did with the last post, I feel the need to preface my comments with the following:

I love children. Anyone who knows me knows I love children. I like to believe that children enjoy me as well-- and I have it on good authority from a certain 2 year old in Nebraska that I am "not scary". I respect mothers. I'm in awe of their patience and resilience and the never ending nature of their work. I like to think that the mothers I know like and respect me. They have, on occasion, even dared to LEAVE their children with me for short and long periods of time.

To put it briefly? Sarah=Not a Baby or their Mama Hater

That being said....I have to address the aforementioned troubling trend I have noticed of late (mostly of random women I see on the street....NOT people I know just so we're clear)-- and that is the trend of the Aggressive Mommy. Now, don't misunderstand me..... I don't mean they are aggressive with their kids. No, no, no. The Aggressive Mommy is the woman that likes to engage in what I call "Abuse of Stroller Privileges"

Ever get tired of waiting for the cars to stop driving back and forth in the Walmart parking lot when you're trying to walk out to your car? Well, the Aggressive Mommy solves that problem by sticking her baby-filled stroller out front of her like a battering ram and just marching into traffic. After all, what sort of horrible person doesn't slam on their breaks when faced with the sight of a stroller through their windshield?

Ever get get a bruise on your shin while standing in a narrow aisle at Target? Well, it is your own fault for being in the path of the Aggressive Mommy who is using her double stroller to clear the row for her brood. She's got the mechanical girth to make you move and she's not afraid to use it.

Ever watch a woman with a stroller the size of a small SUV try to navigate the glass vase section at your local department store? The Aggressive Mommy lets everyone know that it is stupid corporate America's fault that the aisles are so narrow-- and it never occurs to her that she might use a smaller stroller and/or not take a toddler into the breakables section. That would be discrimination!

I don't know. Maybe I'm out of touch. Trust me-- I get that strollers are an important part of any mother's outing (especially with multiple children)...but at what point did they become a method for stopping traffic and herding people. Has it always been this way?

A Room with a STUPID View

Warning:
Literary/Movie Dork Out Ahead. If you can't handle it, don't read it!


So before I start my official rant-- you need a little background. When I was in high school I was obsessed with the movie A Room with a View (based on the novel by E.M. Forster). I cannot possibly begin to tell you how many times my best friend Heather and I watched that movie. We named things after the characters and I for one became completely enamored of Florence. (It was sort of an Italian perfect storm when I also read The Agony and The Ecstasy about Michealangelo at the same time). For those that don't know-- A Room with a View is the love story of Lucy Honeychurch (a straight-laced English girl) and George Emerson (a poor, socialist, atheist, young English chap with no real sense of tact) who meet when they stay at the same hotel in Florence (I think the year is around 1910 but I don't remember for sure).

I know I'm probably boring some of you off your rockers-- but I'm telling you this so you can understand just how much Masterpiece Theater JACKED UP the new version of it. Maybe I'm so annoyed about it because I was so excited to see it-- but they just completely botched it.

First of all, the whole point of George's character in the book is that he is eccentric, slightly sullen, always brutally honest and very VERY charismatic. In the new version? He seems to be slightly daft in a way that you really can't imagine Lucy falling in love with him. She seems much more likely to try to teach the poor fellow how to find his way to the local home for special people.

The also managed to imply (it is subtle but it is there) that the local clergyman is a closeted homosexual who is the only one that realizes that Lucy's fiance is also a homosexual ("bachelor for life" is how they phrased it I believe). (note to Heather: They made Mr Beebe and Cecil gay!)

Also? It is distracting when you raid the cast of the Harry Potter movies for your cast.

But all of that pales in comparison to the ultimate sin of this movie. They KILL George Emerson. They send him off to die in World War 1 (apparently). Lucy ends up on her own, as a widow, wandering around Florence "remembering". CHEAP THEATRICAL TRICK.

Way to butcher the novel Andrew Davies. You and your screenplay may have given us Colin Firth as Mr Darcy back in the day-- but I just don't know that you can recover my "adaption" trust after this.

Wonderful Verson:


Stupid Version:

Rock Chalk Jayhawk

KU-- 2008 NCAA Champions!!!!!


It was an unbelievable game that officially gave me a stroke.