Quote of the Day

Today we took the kids to a space museum not too far from my parent's house. Standing underneath one of the "retired" shuttle/rockets they have outside, Meredith whispered to me-- "I think I can hear the cry of all the souls that lost their lives on this vessel" (Yes, she is 7 and YES dramatics apparently run in the family)

I looked at her with momentary confusion and then tried to reassure her that no one had lost their lives on that particular shuttle-- and then I asked if maybe she was just hearing the cry of all of the souls who had WORKED on the shuttle. She scrunched up her forehead and said "Well, I don't know. But I do hear an "Ahhhhhh!" coming from it"

Getting All Fancy

We are coming upon a tricky time in my grand mission to post every day this month. This is because starting on Thursday, I will officially be at Camp Cousin 2008 which will make having the energy to update daily difficult. Some of you are familiar with this family event of mine-- but for the rest of you: basically it is all of my parent's grandkids convening at their house for the weekend without their parents. I'm the "activity director" (whatever that means). So, I'll be in Kansas until Sunday-- but hopefully I will be able to update you all on the craziness as it happens.

I'm SURE you are super excited to hear stories about children you don't know! (with the exception of my sister who is probably reading this....of course you DO know your own children as well as your nieces and nephew.....hope you're enjoying your Scrapbooking!)

Here's a pic of the inaugural Camp Cousin 2 years ago:





The getting all fancy part comes in because I am pre-writing this post and scheduling it to be posted tomorrow. I have no idea if this will work, but I guess we shall see!


And just so this isn't all about my family, I present to you your random fact of the day:


Today I got stuck in traffic behind an SUV that had a license plate that read "HLYSPRT". And I seriously spent several minutes trying to figure out what the Holy Sport could possibly be. Not my proudest moment.

Oh The Books I Start & Never Finish

So there are lots and lots (and LOTS) of "books" I've started writing that I've never finished. The one I probably got the farthest on, though, was a guide for single Christian women. (I know, I know-- a little presumptious of me) I started writing it after a wretched year of church visiting in Oregon looking for a "singles" group. I was in my mid 20s and thoroughly fatigued of the issue of feeling out of place. Anyway-- I wrote several chapters that I might get around to posting on here someday since most of it won't ever see the light of day otherwise.

This little blurb I found tonight amused me because it sent me back to a thousand conversations I've had with friends starting in high school and beyond. And you know what? It is as true now as it was when I was 16! So without further ado......



Your Friend Who Is A Boy Is Not Your Boyfriend

I don't think I have a single female friend in my life who hasn't had a visit from the Maybe Man. Sometimes he lasts a few months, sometimes he stays for years. But no matter the length of his stay, I've come to view the Maybe Man as a rite of passage for today's woman.

Now who is this Maybe Man, you ask? Actually, I think 90% of you know exactly who is he is. But for you other 10% (you lucky, lucky 10%), I'll explain.

The Maybe Man is that guy in your life who always seems to be dancing along that friendship/something more line but can never quite decide where he wants to land. Some days you're convinced he's more than a friend, some days you aren't. Sometimes he acts like a jealous boyfriend, sometimes he could care less if you are still on the planet.

He's the guy in your life about whom you are never sure how you feel because you're too busy trying to figure out how he feels about you.

The problem with Maybe Men is that they are almost always good guys at heart (at least today I think they are, tomorrow I just might think they are Satan's toadies) who just can't seem to get their act together when it comes to one woman: you.

And the absolute worst part about it is that because nothing is ever said directly (really, what would you say? “I know you must like me because you've called me every night this week!), so you are never quite sure if it was all in your head.

What I've Learned From Watching Romantic Comedies

1. Men are attracted to women who are loud, demanding, and generally act like spoiled brats. The more impossible you are, the more they want you.

2. Rule #1 only applies when the aforementioned woman is thin and preferably blond.

3. Cute, available men are often to be found wandering the Irish countryside.

4. Men with commitment issues need only meet the right loud, demanding, spoiled woman to see the error of their ways.

5. Running down the street in 3 inch heels is easy for those in love.

6. The best men to marry are the ones with fathers who have had at least 5 or 6 wives.

7. A man who loves dogs is to be trusted.

8. We are all one awesome musical montage away from a life-altering epiphany.

9. When you've had a misunderstanding with the one you love (but haven't yet figured it out) you can eat as much ice cream as you want and still fit into your size 2 whispy summer dress the next day. This is a good thing because of #10

10. In order to come to an understanding with the man of your dreams (or the man you always knew but didn't know you wanted but have finally figured out that he was the man of your dreams all along)-- you have to be wearing a whispy, spaghetti strapped sun dress. If you can be standing in Central Park, all the better.

11. If you have a childhood best friend of the opposite sex-- you're supposed to marry them. You don't really have a choice in the matter. It was neighborhood fate.

12. Awesome highlights equal an awesome love life.

13. Man-boys are just one Coldplay inspired soundtrack away from maturing into husband material.

14. All women secretly love to dance around in their bedrooms and sing into their pillows. (this was news to me as I previously thought Amy was the only person I knew who really did that on a regular basis)

Happy Birthday My Friend!

Today is the birthday of the one and only Kathleen Anne. I've known you well on close to FOREVER now-- and I'm so blessed to have you as a best friend!

And now in tribute to you and our shared history at church camp and beyond.....





Oh how I miss the non-air conditioned cabins and bunk beds!



The puffed sleeved floral dress-- didn't we all have one at some point in our teen lives?



I had to put this in because anyone who knows and loves you knows EXACTLY what you sound like when you laugh like this. (Also? Seeing Roybal in his flannel pants again made me laugh)


I love you!! Happy Birthday!

Not Always the Brightest Bulb in the Bunch

Example One:
For years I wondered how "water pills" worked. I didn't understand how they could get a significant amount of the hydrating stuff into a little pill. Was it some sort of chemical reaction? Was it just a little boost of some sort of "super" H2O? I don't think I need to explain to you my friend's face when she explained to me the water pills get RID of water. (I guess here is where I admit that the explanatory conversation was had less than a year ago) I stand by my assertion that they should be called ANTI-Water pills. That is much clearer.


Example Two:
I recently found out that I am (well, I was until Thursday) still paying renter's insurance on my friend's house that I haven't lived in since August. This was in addition to my current homeowner's policy. And I didn't notice. Until Wednesday. When contacted about the situation, my insurance company told me it was very nice of me to insure someone else for that long. (they then gave me my money back after not making me feel stupid about it at all-- which I kind of deserved)

The Code of Nothing But Rambles

When I first started typing this post, it was problematic for several reasons-- not the least of which was that I had the number lock key on. It really looked like I was trying to start a new chapter of the Da Vinci Code or something. The main problem, however, is that I have no idea what to type. I've hardly had 2 seconds free today and I'm feeling very uninspired (as if GREAT inspiration provided the last 10 posts.....).



I was driving home from my sister's house tonight (the fam is all gathered in one location for my brother in law's momentous graduation from law school tomorrow) trying to think of what on earth I could write a quick post about since I cannot fail in my task to write every day this month. I remember at about the half way point I thought of something funny I could write about and that I was relieved. Unfortunately, that is ALL I can remember about that thought process. The no doubt HILARIOUS and WITTY and PROFOUND post is forever lost in the pile of fleeting thoughts I have while in the car. It will have all kinds of new friends like "How Sarah thinks Prison Break Season 3 really should have gone" and "Mean Thoughts About People with Vanity Plates". (It might even bump into my wonderings about how the original Native Americans would feel about today's interstate system. Would they find it intriguing? Would they think it was the work of a white devil? Would the concrete scare them and how would their ponies feel about it?)



So really this is just a post to say that I have nothing to say. Aren't you glad I shared?

Dueling Lists

Things I Don't Like

1. The taste of coffee (self explanatory)

2. Oprah (I haven't liked Oprah's shows for a few years now--- she has a serious case of believing her own press and it is annoying to watch. She pronounces "the truth" about everything as if she is Moses on the mountain top)

3. Coconut (it is hard to say which is worse: the taste or the texture)

4. Watching television with large groups of people

5. Being watched

6. The smell of coffee (this seems to be the one that shocks people-- I don't know why)

7. Martha Stewart (This is long standing. The first time I ever watched her on anything-- I told my friend she had "crazy eyes". I stand by that assessment)

8. Baseball (Boooorrrriiinnnggg)

9. Trying to explain to people that YES I was an English major but NO I can't spell very well.

10. The Last of the Mohicans (the book-- not the movie)



Things I Enjoy Probably a Bit Too Much

1. Swiss Miss Sugar Free Chocolate Pudding (they put Jello's sugar free pudding to shame-- trust me)

2. Wentworth Miller (He's so pretty)

3. Battlestar Galactica (yes, the remake-- and if you're tempted to laugh at me about this then that just means you haven't watched it for yourself)

4. Sonic Happy Hour (I'll never forget the day my sister called me at work to tell me she was in the Sonic drive-thru and they now had Diet Dr Pepper available)

5. Dying my hair (my mother hates this-- but she should be appeased because I haven't gone completely black since the "incident" in 1997)

6. My DVR (live TV? What's that?)

7. Young Adult Fiction (it doesn't seem fair-- they have much more interesting stuff these days than when I was an actual Young Adult)

8. My old-school iPod Mini (she's awesome and pink and impossible to buy accessories for)

9. New makeup

10. Analyzing People

A Picture I've Been Looking For

One of the top 10 cool experiences of my life so far was hiking through the rain forest last January in Belize and then floating down the a river through a series of completely dark caves. (And yes, I DID wear a lantern on my forehead). Anyway-- we didn't take cameras on any part of the hike or the float down the river since we got so soaking wet....and I've been SO completely sad about it ever since. The views were unbelievable and impossible to describe.

Well, today I was reading an article about Eco Tourism in Belize and stumbled onto a photo of one of the cave entrances that we floated through. It doesn't really capture the experience and the photo is tiny-- but today I'm sharing with you a teeny tiny snapshot of one of the coolest days of my life:

5 Things I Did Today

1. Pulled several muscles while trying to help a sort-of neighbor who had fallen down when attacked by some blue jays and couldn't get back up. My only other help was the 70 year old who came and got me to try to help. We didn't have much success.

2. Called 911 and summoned the Fire Department to come get the aforementioned neighbor. (Did NOT get to flirt with any cute firemen. Big disappointment)

3. Was late to work because of #1 and #2

4. Went and bought a big ceramic pot in anticipation of pretending that I can actually buy and keep multiple plants alive.

5. Tried repeatedly to get my hair to stay up in a knot using only one bobby pin. For the most part, it did not work. Contain your surprise.

The 12th of May: Erin's Day

Happy Birthday to one of my very favorite travel partners!!!

20 Things to Love About My Mother

1. She loves me no matter what

2. She sends me coupons in the mail

3. She still remembers the Spanish she learned in high school

4. She has an downright freaky sense of direction

5. She is the most unselfish person I know

6. She gave me a blank living will last week with absolutely no explanation

7. She's a talented artist even if she won't admit it

8. She's never asked me why I'm not married

9. She's an incredible example of a Christian woman

10. She has a beautiful singing voice

11. She changed her mind about naming me Whitney

12. She has watched Friendly Persuasion 80 bajillion times

13. She would do anything for her children or grandchildren

14. She has an addiction to audio books

15. She loves peanut butter almost as much as I do

16. She gave birth to me!

17. She's dangerous as a Trivial Pursuit opponent

18. Ditto for Scrabble

19. She seems to think her kids can do just about anything

20. She was and is the best Mom ever.

Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you!

Anyone Else A Child of the 80s?

Cheryl, this one is for you!

A Toast to Myself

Have you ever wished you could go back in time and give yourself a high-five? (Not that I encourage high-fives with anyone over the age of 12 as a general rule) If not, you can't understand my dilemma.....but there are some of you who know just what I'm talking about. And today? Well, today I really could have kissed myself circa November or December 2007.

What did I do to make me so proud of myself you ask? Well, it might not seem like much to you, but I found a dollar that I'd hidden in a little wooden box in my office at work. And why was this so wonderful? I found it after a frustrated 10 minute search (ok, maybe only 5) for vending machine money for a Diet Dr. Pepper. I hardly ever have cash and I was on the verge of once again asking my secretary if I could borrow a dollar from her (which makes me feel like a 5 year old even though I always promptly pay her back).

And that is what is so amazing! At some point in the past not only did I have a dollar on me, but I actually took the initiative to squirrel it away in a place I knew I'd forget about it so that I would eventually stumble onto it in a time of need. And it worked! My plan that I forgot that I planned actually came together.

So here's to you pre-Christmas Sarah! You helped me get my afternoon caffeine fix. Well done!

Slightly Cheating

So I just realized the other day that I've had this blog for over three years now. Of course, I didn't tell more than 4 people about it for the first year of my blog's existence.....so I don't know if the first year really counts. I was SO paranoid when I first started writing it. I didn't want anyone outside of my pre-determined circle to read it. And now? Well, now I can't even really remember why I felt so paranoid. I think this has been a good exercise in not taking myself too seriously.

I say all of that to explain that I am slightly cheating today by reposting one of my first posts from when I started this in 2005. I figure my parents are the only ones who have gone back and read the archives (cause really, why would anyone else bother?)-- but if I'm wrong, please forgive the repeat. I just thought this was slightly topical given some of my posts of late. And so without further ado, I present to you "Mt Rushmore". (and no, I don't remember why I named it that)




A friend asked me today why weird things always seem to happen when I'm around. I don't think I really have a good answer for that. I mean, I've heard the rumor that I, myself, am not the most normal apple in the bunch (wait-- apples don't come in bunches....should I have said barrel there? Cause I don't think that people really say "the most normal grape in the bunch".....of course they could and it would be just as valid. I like grapes.)

Anyway, I don't know that I think weird things happen to me more than anyone else. Ok, that's a lie. I don't know anyone else who has been forced by the state of Kansas to cut the windshield out of their car. I only know four other people that have ever gotten lost in a an underground labyrinth in Germany. But those are just the four people that were with me, so I'm not sure they count. And there is the letter I got from the lonely felon who saw my address in a church bulletin--- but I don't think my weirdness attractors could have worked through a piece of paper...right?

Now, I know what you're thinking. Yes, my car was stolen from below my bedroom window by a ring of Russian Car thieves. And it's true that when the police found my car we realized they took all of my CDs except for Natalie Merchant. But that's not weird so much as unfortunate. There is the incident of me accidentally telling my Irish soul mate that I have a boyfriend but that was more stupidity than weirdness (of course the fact that his friends were wearing plastic face masks of Irish politicians did add a certain odd flair to the talk....)

And you know, my first night in Europe when I was 17 did entail getting followed by a gang of drunken men down a Parisian street at midnight...but it also involved a very nice man in a suit with a baby who scared the drunkards off and found a nice Jamaican woman to walk me and my friend back to our hotel. And my teacher did get arrested (while I had all of his money and his passport) on our trip to Greece the next summer for jumping into a fountain, but that was him-- not me. I didn't get "arrested" until two years later-- and that was in Slovakia not Greece. And the only reason I was there in the first place was to get free refills at the Little Caesar's in Brataslava. They didn't have that in Vienna. What? It made perfect sense at the time.

And now that I've reread this, I'm impressed anyone is willing to go anywhere with me at all.

Your Daily Dose of Cuteness (Actually-- probably enough to last all week!)

Deep Thoughts From My College Journals

Everyone should get lost. Helplessness is the truest test of character.

Cinco De Mayo (and thoughts that have nothing to do with that)

Today we are taking a break from our regular scheduled random thought messages to share with you all a shameless plug:

My cousin Emily has started a really fun online boutique called The Refined Cubbyhole that I've been meaning to post about for awhile now. Now I have extra motivation because..... (drumroll please....) you can find super duper mysterious jewelry made by ME there!

(Ok, the jewelry itself is really not that mysterious-- and calling it super duper makes it sounds pretty dorky......so how about I stop trying to describe it and you just go look at it!)

"Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear!"

This is going to fall under the category of things I should never admit to thinking......

I've been having an ant problem lately. I can't figure out where they are coming from and they are grossing me out. My mom gave me something called "Orange Guard" that works very nicely and isn't toxic and smells just like Orange Juice......I've been having quite the time shooting the little suckers with my citrus weapon.

None of that is the concerning part. Here's what I shouldn't admit: the other morning I was spraying more of them and I caught myself wondering if maybe I should leave some of the dead ants on the counter for the day as sort of a deterrent/warning to other ants that might come in.

Now I'm wondering if I was some sort of South American dictator in a former life.

The Stripping of Wallpaper and My Youth

I've been spending lots of quality time over the last few days stripping my kitchen walls of the dreadful blue poppy wallpaper that has been gracing its walls for what I can only guess to be the last 20-30 years. In order to keep myself entertained I have also been playing a series of all the romantic, dramatic movies I loved in high school. Great plan, right? Well-- as with all great plans, there has been an unforeseen issue.

What is the problem you ask? Well, as it turns out-- most of the famous characters I was so madly in love with when I was a teenager are IDIOTS.

Take for example Wuthering Heights. I used to swoon when watching Heathcliff mope about the moors tortuously crying for Catherine to haunt him after she dies. The 18 year old in me loved his passionate devotion. The 31 year old in me thinks he's a psycho that proved the need for anti-stalking laws in Bronte-Era England. And Catherine's no better. It really is a toss up as to who is more abusive and cruel. Realizing I had exactly NO patience for their "great love" made me feel OLD.

Need another example? Let's take a couple of dreamboats from Shakespeare. First we have the ridiculous Claudio from Much Ado About Nothing who is just about the whiniest wimp of a "hero" you've ever seen. He has the emotional maturity of a toad-- what a dreamy husband! And as for Romeo-- wherefore art thou's common sense, Romeo? My disgust with the pair of you really REALLY made me feel old. What kind of old hag doesn't appreciate ROMEO? Apparently, me.

I guess I know I'm not saying anything earth-shattering here. I always knew that "adults" sometimes developed these patronizing attitudes about the men that I loved.......but I knew that would never be my fate. I could never lose my sense of romance OR my imagination. But now, I am one of those boring adults! I have crossed over. Imagine my dismay.